


Never Wanted Our Paths to Cross

by Jubilee44



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 23,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4591233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubilee44/pseuds/Jubilee44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Lily are now neighbors. They didn't start off on the right foot and it seems hopeless that they'll ever make amends. But when Sirius Black says there's something between them it has to be true...obviously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            They’d only been neighbors for close to two weeks but they were already on the path for a rough start.

            James Potter had lived in London for a few years after university. He was a popular young man and had been ever since he was younger. He hadn’t seemed to find his way in life. He held a few odd jobs, mainly as a mechanic but his aloof attitude sometimes made him lose his job or made him quit.

            Lily Evans moved to London right after she finished her nursing degree. She found work at St. Bart’s hospital and was set on her path. She moved into an apartment building completely unsuspecting of what she was really getting herself into.

            It started off with Lily’s young cat, Bayard, escaped the apartment and decided to go next door. James opened his door and looked down at the cat with a clueless look. “Uh…” He glanced down the hallway but there was no one there. He hesitantly picked up the docile cat and went next door. James hadn’t met the new neighbor but had heard them move in. He knocked on the door.

            Lily was trying to move a heavy dresser but was struggling and was getting extremely frustrated. She groaned when she heard the knock and went to open the door. She was surprised to see a handsome, dark haired young man with soft hazel eyes and round glasses. “Oh hello.” She said, still breathless from trying to move the furniture.

            “Hi, sorry but this is your cat right?” James set Bayard down.

            The dark orange colored cat padded into the apartment again and curled around his owner’s legs.

            “Oh, sorry he must’ve gotten the door open. He’s a clever boy.” Lily gave the man an apologetic look.

            “S’okay.” James rubbed the back of his neck and put his other hand in his pocket. His hazel eyes studied his new neighbor. She was petite, her dark red hair was pulled back into a messy bun, and what captivated James the most were her piercing green eyes. He caught himself staring and cleared his throat. “I’m James, I live right across the hall.” He smiled and held out a hand for her to shake.

            Lily returned the smile and shook his hand. “Lily,” she introduced herself, “it’s nice to meet you.”  

            “You all right with moving in?” James asked.

            “Uh…” Lily thought about her dresser. “Yeah, it’s all fine.” She lied but put on a good front. “I still have a lot to do and work tomorrow morning. So I should get going. Thank you again for returning Bayard.”

            James was a bit disappointed. He almost expected the attractive woman to ask him for help for moving something heavy. He wouldn’t have minded showing off his muscles from rugby. “Yeah no problem.” James nodded and turned around to go back to his apartment. _She’s one of those independent types then, huh?_ James thought to himself. He opened the door and glanced down at his shirt and groaned when he saw orange cat fur sticking to the fabric. James peeled off the shirt as he walked into his apartment.

            “Oh James actually…” Lily turned around not having closed her door yet. She clammed up though when she saw the bare back of her neighbor. She couldn’t help but stare at how fit he was. Her face went bright red and she forced herself to look down at the floor.

            James turned around. “Yeah?” He instantly smirked when he saw her blushing.

            “I-I uh…if you could…you know what…never mind.” Lily was too embarrassed to look up at him. She quickly backed into her apartment and shut the door.

            James chuckled and shook his head, shutting his door too. He suddenly realized he was going to have fun with the independent neighbor he had just acquired.

            Lily was sitting on the floor with her back to the door. She felt like she couldn’t show herself in the building anymore she was too embarrassed. She thought that maybe she wouldn’t have to see James ever again. But she knew it wasn’t possible and she was right because that was only the beginning. 


	2. Chapter 2

            Three days passed and Lily’s luck ran out. She bumped into James on the bottom floor of the apartment building where the washer machines were. She was carrying her load of laundry completely caught off guard when she saw her neighbor facing one of the machines. She went to turn around before he could possibly see her.  
            “Hey, Evans.” James glanced over his shoulder when he heard Lily’s faint footsteps behind him.  
            Lily swallowed and turned back around. “Uh…hi.” She said. “Evans?” She questioned with a raised eyebrow.  
            James smirked. “Yeah, what?” He asked like it was no big deal that he’d made up a nickname for her.  
            “I don’t know I just haven’t had anyone call me that.” Lily mumbled and opened one of the washers. "It's weird."   
            “Here, I have some extra room for darks if you want to spare a few quarters.” James offered.  
            “Oh uh…thanks.” Lily sorted through her clothes and put them in the washer with James’s. “That was really nice of you.” Maybe she was wrong and she should get to know him. He didn’t even seem to remember about what happened the other day.  
            “Don’t mention it. Hey, a couple friends and I were going out to the pub tonight. You want to invite a few birds to come along with us?” James asked casually. He didn't want to sound like he'd been working up the courage to ask Lily out.   
            She apparently wasn't sold on the idea though. “For one don’t call my friends birds.” Lily told him straight up. “And second I don’t drink.” She shook her head as she loaded another machine with her whites.  
            “You don’t drink…” James looked incredulous and shook his head. “Really? A gal like you doesn’t like to go out for a few pints after a long day of work?”  
            “Nope.” She shook her head again to confirm her point. “I only get one glass of red wine on rare occasions when I go out with my mother.”  
            “Blimey you must have a boring life.” James snorted and looked sympathetically at her.   
            “Pardon?” Lily let her laundry basket fall with a clatter to the floor. She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “I’ll have you know that I’m a very good nurse with a good family and many proper friends.”  
            “ _Proper friends.”_ James was nearly doubled over in laughter. “You’re funny I’ll give you that.” He grinned loving toying with her as much as she would allow.  
            Lily ground her teeth but used her mother’s advice of ‘never get involved’ to turn the other cheek. She didn’t want to get into a fight with her infuriatingly attractive neighbor in the cramped laundry space. “You can leave my clothes in the washer. I’ll pick them up later.” She said and went to leave the room.  
            James held out an arm to trap Lily against one of the dryers. “Just come out for one drink that's all.” He said gently. He didn't want to scare her he just want one more chance to convince her to go out. “Have some fun for once.”  
            “I-I have…” Lily was thrown off by how close he was to her and the look of his soft eyes behind those glasses. “I have fun.” She tried to keep her composition and hold her head up high. He was making her knees shake though and James could tell.  
            “Really?” James raised an eyebrow at her. “Well, if you want to have even more fun, we’re going to the pub across the street.” He told her and moved his arm.  
            Lily immediately left to hide her burning cheeks. She hated how weak he made her feel. She knew she shouldn’t give into him and she really thought she wouldn’t.  
   
            “C’mon Lils, you should go out. I’ll go out with you, it'll be really fun!” Marlene, Lily’s best friend, said over the phone. “I mean we’re living in the same city again! We need to hang out more so this is the best opportunity.”         
            “We can go out another night without them.” Lily replied stubbornly. "I don't need them to go with us, we can have fun without them." She ground her teeth again.   
            “Lily Evans, when was the last time you went out on a date?” Marlene groaned. “You need to get out more and find a man! You’ve been working too many hours, you need some time off.”  
            “This isn’t a date and it doesn’t matter. I’m content on my own.” Lily replied firmly. She was interrupted by a knock at her door. Lily sighed. “Hold on Marls just let me get the door,” she went to open the door. “Oh…James hi.”  
            He was standing at her door with her basket of washed and dried clothes, not folded, but Lily was still stunned nontheless. “Here, this is my welcome basket to the building.” He smirked in his sweet lopsided way.  
            “You really didn’t have to…” Lily gently took the basket from him. “Thank you, thank you so much.” She said. Her mind was going on a roller coaster. One second she was peeved at her neighbor and the next she was smitten. She hated everything about it.  
            “It’s another invitation to go out too.” James added. “C’mon, just one night, just a few hours even. I’ll buy your drinks if you'd like.”  
            “You paid for my laundry, you’ve done quite enough.” Lily shook her head. “Besides I can buy my own drinks.” She set her clothes down.  
            “One drink.” James bargained.   
            “Fine, fine!” Lily rolled her eyes. “You win, happy? I’ll invite my friend with me because I don’t trust you yet.” She told him glaring right into his hazel eyes.   
            “You trusted me enough with your clothes but it’s fine I understand.” James held his hands up with a triumphant smile. “Cute thongs by the way.” He winked at her and started to walk down the hall without another word.  
            Lily’s eyes widened and her cheeks turned bright red again. “Potter!” She yelled down the hall at him.   
            James only laughed good-naturedly and kept walking. “See you tonight, Evans!” He called back.


	3. Chapter 3

            Lily looked herself over in the mirror. She tilted her head to the side and glanced at her backside for a moment to see how it looked in the dress. She groaned and dropped the act. She didn’t even know why she was going out with that Potter fellow especially after the thong comment. She guessed she was really only doing it for Marlene since she'd begged so much. And yet she was still intrigued by her attractive but idiotic neighbor. Maybe that night would finally make up her mind on whether she liked him or not. Lily ruffled her hands through her red hair and let out another frustrated noise. She hated herself in that moment.  
            Marlene knocked on the door interrupting her friend’s conflicting thoughts just at the right moment. “Lils, are you almost ready?” She called.  
            “Yeah!” Lily gave herself one last look. She was wearing a knee length green dress that hugged her curves nicely. She hopped through her place as she strapped on her silver heels. She opened the door.  
            Marlene wolf whistled. “Look at you, kitty-cat. Trying to make a statement tonight, are we? Maybe to a certain neighbor of yours?” She giggled.  
            Lily’s porcelain cheeks burned so easily. She figured it was a bad start to her evening already. “Maybe I should change…” She went to go back inside to change into something less revealing or tight.   
            Marlene grabbed her wrist. “Absolutely not, are you mad? You look down right gorgeous so you’re wearing that. Let’s go we're already late!” She dragged Lily downstairs before she could change her mind about going.  
   
            James was already at the pub with his best mates, Remus and Sirius. They had a table and were waiting for the girls to arrive. James's leg was shaking anxiously as he checked his watch.   
            “Hey, you said the friend was a looker too right?” Sirius leaned over to ask James  
            “I dunno, haven’t met her.” He shrugged. “Wait, why are you even asking?” James gave his friend a funny look. “Aren’t you a Remus engaged?”  
            Sirius groaned at the disappointing answer. But then he smiled a bit. “Yes, we are, but I’m always open for a little threesome, aren’t we love?” He winked at his fiancée.  
            “Absolutely not!” Remus snapped back at him. His eyes widened in surprise that he'd even brought it up, and in public at that! “You may swing both ways but I certainly don’t. And what ever happened to monogamy?” He raised an eyebrow at him challengingly.  
            Sirius rolled his eyes. “Monogamy..." He muttered.   
            "What was that?" Remus questioned with a none too happy look on his face.   
            "I said, yes love, whatever you say, love.” He gave Remus his charming grin. "But you have to admit it would be a little fun, right?" The two continued to bicker a bit about the subject.               
        “You two are going to embarrass me.” James realized and ran a hand through his hair as they kept arguing. He glanced up to the pub door and saw his neighbor, but he had to do a quick double take to actually see if it  _was_  her.      
            Sirius gave a low whistle. “Is the friend the red head?” He asked. “Please say she is.” He begged and Remus gave him the dirties look the mild mannered man could muster up.  
            “No…that’s Lily.” James said in a quiet and stunned voice. Just the look of her in that dress slapped him right in the face. He stood up and cleared his throat. He looked down and smoothed his shirt.  
            Lily saw James stand and her stomach felt like it dropped down a lift. “This is a bad idea….” She whispered to Marlene and turned away slightly as if she was going to run and bail.   
            Marlene didn't seemed to worried though. She was too busy staring at James. “Is that him?” She squealed back ignoring her friend’s doubts.  
            “Yes but…”  
            “He’s fit huh?” Marlene grinned and kept walking to the table. “Hiya boys!” She greeted to the three of them.  
            “Well hello to yourself too.” Sirius smiled and winked. "Care for a few drinks and some fun?"   
            “Sirius Black, enough with the damn flirting. I’m right here you half-wit.” Remus kicked his fiancée right in the shin under the table and gave him another look.   
            James sighed. “These are my mates, Remus and Sirius. They’re engaged to each other but they certainly don’t act like it, I know.” He introduced them.   
            “I’m Marlene, Lily’s friend.” She flashed a smile. “It’s nice to meet you.” She sat down and made herself right at home by flagging down a bartender to order a drink.   
            James went over to Lily. “You look gorgeous.” He murmured to her. The stunned young man could barely keep his eyes off her face but mostly her body in the dress. He wasn't being very subtle about it, he couldn't be.   
            Lily caught where his eyes went. She tried to bite her tongue but couldn’t hold back her next comment. “Trying to guess which thong I’m wearing, you prat?” She hissed at him rudely.   
            James grinned and shrugged. He didn't seem to phased by her insult in fact he took it as her egging him on. “I dunno, maybe I’ll find out later.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.  
            “Well aren’t you charming?” Lily faked a smile for a second before she stomped her heel down on the toe of his shoe with all her might. “Keep your eyes to yourself,  _mate._ ” She said sarcastically and went to sit next to Marlene and as far away from him. She crossed her arms over her chest and ordered a glass of wine.   
            James cursed under his breath and limped back over to his seat. He almost had tears in his eyes from the painful blow to his foot. He looked across the table at Lily and felt even more determined. She glared back at him as if to say  _bring it on._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some language

            Sirius, Remus, and Marlene watched curiously as James and Lily glared at each other a shot glass by each other their hands. They were sitting at the bar a few feet away from the three friends.   
            “I can’t tell if they’re going to kill each other or fuck each other.” Marlene said still studying them. "It's a very odd thing...but I am very intrigued." She decided.   
            “Maybe both?” Sirius suggested with a shrug.  
            “Probably both.” Remus agreed with a nod.  
            James raised an eyebrow at Lily. “Take it.” He challenged. “You think you’re so tough huh? I doubt you could handle one more.” He nodded to her.  
            “I’m a lot tougher than you are.” Lily was slurring though because she had never drank so much at once in her life. She grabbed the shot glass and threw it back. She made a face at the strong taste and groaned. Her mind was spinning and she felt like she couldn’t sit up straight.  
            James was only tipsy though from the few drinks and shots they had. He smirked and snorted at her. “You’re such a lightweight.” He teased.  
            Lily reached over to shove him but she fell forward and nearly hit her head on the table.  
            “Whoa, slow down there.” James reached forward to catch her. “You’re going to pass out soon.” He stood up and went up to her. Lily slipped off the barstool and into his arms. She grumbled a bit but let him support her. He walked her over to the other table where their friends were.  
            “Oh it looks like someone has had too much to drink.” Marlene stood up. “I should take her home or she'll pass out right here and I don't want to carry her.”  
            “I can take her home.” James offered with a shrug. “I mean we’re neighbors and I really don't mind.” He pointed out.  
            Marlene gave him a suspicious look. “What’re you trying to play?” She demanded protectively.   
            James gave her a funny look and glanced at Remus and Sirius as if to ask 'is she serious?'. “What are you talking about? I’m just going to take her home right across the street.” He said simply.   
            “If you so much as touch her I swear to God…” Marlene immediately went to threaten him.  
            “He wouldn’t hurt a fly, he’s just a smart jackass.” Sirius told her. “So unless you don’t mind her feelings getting hurt she’s completely safe with him.”  
            Marlene sighed. She  _did_ want to stay a bit longer in the pub for a few more drinks. “Fine.” She gave in. “Lils, you call me when you get home okay?” She looked at her friend.   
            Lily nodded. “Yeah sure Mars, I’ll do that.” She mumbled and leaned against James.  
            “I’ll dial her phone for you if that makes you feel better.” James rolled his eyes and put an arm around Lily to help her to the pub door. They walked across the street with Lily stumbling every other step and James struggling to keep her upright. He finally got her in the building and went to press the elevator button. But there was a sign on the door saying ‘Out of Service’.  
            “Christ.” James groaned and looked to the stairs. He knew it was a good four flights up to their rooms. He sighed knowing he had to keep his promise of getting her home safe. He would never just leave her in the lobby. “Alright, Lils let’s do this.” He said in determination.  
            “Do what?” Lily looked over at him in a slow reaction.   
            James bent down a bit and scooped her up in his arms and went to walk up the stairs. “You definitely owe me for this one.” He told her by the second flight.   
            Lily giggled almost in a pleased way. “I don’t owe you anything, you prat.” She shot back at him. She was having a good time being carried while she was high on a buzz.   
            “You know I could just drop you right here and just leave.” James warned but of course he kept carrying her up the stairs. “I should’ve let Marlene take you home.” He rolled his eyes.   
            “She doesn’t live across from me.” Lily pointed out cheekily. "And I like her too much to make her take care of me while I'm drunk." She said truthfully.  
            “Yeah and I’m a sucker who’s too nice to you. You're lucky the drinks were my idea.” James finally reached the top of the stairs and went to set Lily on her feet in front of her door. “Where’s your key?” He asked.   
            Lily giggled. “Why don’t you find it?” She stuck out her hip in a lousy attempt to be sexy. She was starting to lose more of her inhibitions and it was showing.   
            James sighed not wanting any trouble with Marlene. Though he was tempted to humor Lily harmlessly he knew it would be unfair to her. “Okay, sleep out here then, not my problem.” He suggested and fished out his own key to open his door.  
            “Noooo c’mon.” Lily complained thinking that he would've immediately agreed. But Lily also thought she looked extremely seductive not half stumbling over her feet. She reached in her purse and found her keys after a few minutes and dropping them twice. “Here,” She said and gave them to him.  
            James opened her door knowing she would be too drunk to get the key in the lock. He opened the door for her. “Here, goodnight, Lily.” He said gently. He wasn’t mad at her because he had egged her on the entire night.  
            “Aw, you’re not going to even kiss me goodnight?” Lily asked with a pout. “That’s mean, James. And you were being so nice by carrying me up the stairs.”  
            “Trust me, you’re too drunk to know that it’s me you’re trying to kiss. You hate me remember? If you wake up tomorrow morning do you want to realize you kissed me?” James tried to get her to think clearly.  
            “I don’t hate you!” Lily gave him a look. “You confuse me. You’re super cute and hot but you’re also an idiot and I wish you didn’t talk as much.” The words didn’t stop and she had the confidence to look him right in the eyes. “I dunno why but I want to kiss you but I also want to punch you because of the things you say. I don’t hate you though you just confuse me!”  
            James had a half amused; half shocked look on his face as he took in everything she said. “Seriously?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “That’s what you have to say to me?”  
            Lily narrowed her eyes. “Are you fucking with me? Of course that’s what I have to say to you! It’s the truth and I’m not taking it back. Deal with it!” She snapped.  
            James grinned. “I will.” He leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “Goodnight Lily, I’ll see you tomorrow. Want a hangover cure as breakfast?” He asked trying to be helpful.  
            Lily just glared at him and turned to go into her apartment, she slammed the door, and promptly went to bed to sleep off the alcohol infused night.  


	5. Chapter 5

            Lily groaned when she heard someone knocking on her door loudly the next morning. She sat up and forced herself out of bed. Her head was pounding as she was hit with her first real hangover. She shuffled to the door and spied through the peephole. She rolled her eyes when she saw James standing on the door with a bottle of painkillers and a water bottle. The headache was getting worse and Lily wasn’t sure if she even had painkillers in her new apartment yet. She sighed and opened the door.  
            “Hangover cure.” James reminded her what he said from last night. He shook the pill bottle and gave her a small smile.   
            “I know…. I remember…. sort of.” Lily mumbled to herself and rubbed her eyes. The idea of it sounded vaguely familiar. “Come in.” She opened the door wider to let him inside. James walked in and leaned against the kitchen counter. He shook out two pills and held out the water bottle to her.  
            “Thank you.” Lily said quietly and swallowed the painkillers. She wasn't sure what to say to him.   
            “So, remember anything about last night?” James asked. He had been curious ever since the night before to know since he wanted to at least talk about what she’d said.  
            “Uh…you took me home.” Lily recalled. “I don’t really remember what we said though.” She admitted. “You carried me up the stairs…” She fought back a smile. It wasn’t that hard because the pounding in her head was excruciating.  
            “Do d'you want to know?” James asked. He looked extremely different though because he didn’t have a playful smirk or look of sarcasm on his face. It unnerved her.  
            “Uh…” Lily suddenly got a little concerned. What had she said while she was close to black-out-drunk? “Was it bad?” She asked with a slight wince.  
            “Well…depends on who you ask.” James shrugged and glanced out the window. He looked back at her and into her beautiful green eyes. “But it got me thinking.” He explained.  
            “Just tell me what I said.” Lily closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She just wanted to know and get the embarrassment over with. “I don’t care if it was bad or not, just let me have it.”  
            James cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn't sure if he was going to enjoy her reaction when he told her. “For starters you asked to kiss me.” He told her bluntly.  
            Lily let out a loud groan and covered her eyes in embarrassment. She realized maybe she  _didn't_ want to know if that's what she'd said. “You’re me kidding right? Please tell me you’re joking I won't get mad if you're kidding.” She felt so stupid going out and letting James egg her into drinking so much.  
            “’Fraid not Evans.” James finally let a smug smirk pass over his lips only because she wasn’t looking at the moment. “Then you said I confused you for some reason and that you wanted to kiss me and punch me at the same time. Dunno what that means, maybe it was the alcohol speaking?” Something inside of him really needed to know.   
            Lily looked up in surprise because that was how she felt about him. She figured the only thing the drinks had done were open up the door to her 'Don't Tell James Things' room. It was chock full of all the secretive, aggravating, and confused feelings that she had for her neighbor. “Oh…well that part's not…untrue…” She mumbled hoping he wouldn't hear.  
            “Seriously?” James looked amused because he did hear her. He had chalked up most of her rambling from last night to just being drunk. “So you want to kiss and punch me?” He inquired with a small chuckle.  
            Lily ground her teeth. “I don’t know why I’m even talking to you about this.” She said defensively and immediately built up her walls again when she sensed sarcasm coming from him.  
            “Because I just came to give you some relief for your hangover.” James pointed out to her. "Figured that was a pretty nice thing to do, didn't have to." He tried to get her to appreciate him a little bit.   
            “The hangover that you caused.” Lily shot back at him. "So don't think you're going to get any thanks for coming across the hallway to give me some water and painkillers." She rolled her eyes.   
            “Hey, you didn’t have to go out last night, I didn’t force you, sweetheart.” James snapped. He didn’t like the way she’d suddenly turned on him.   
            Lily just rolled his eyes. She knew he was right but that infuriated her. His snarky look was driving her insane. “Whatever, Potter. Thank you but I think you should leave now.” She said in a cold voice.  
            James swallowed and his jaw was tight. He was a little fed up with being led along for a ride. “Christ, Lily, why don’t you confuse me a little more?” He spat sarcastically at her. “First, you’re acting like you despise me so much and the next your complaining how much you want to snog me!”  
            Lily made a sound of disgust in his direction. “Well forget that then. I don’t want to snog you anymore.” She tried to sound strong but her retort was flimsy sounding and James saw right through her.  
            He walked up her getting inches away from her. “Listen to me, Evans, I’m not going to play this game of yours for much longer.” He said in a quiet but non-threatening voice. “So make up your mind, I’m not going to wait forever, yeah?” He tilted his head to the side in a simpering manner.   
            Lily stared right back at him. Her blood was boiling but she stayed completely still, hardly even breathing. “Then I guess you’re going to be very disappointed because I don’t want you, Potter. Sorry but I'm not going to throw myself at you like other girls.” She whispered right back to him, her eyes never leaving his. “Now, goodbye.”  
            James shook his head almost in disbelief. “We’ll see.” He replied before turned around and walking out. He had a strong feeling that what she said wasn't really had she felt and that wasn't the end of their struggle.   
            Lily let out a frustrated noise because she had been so tempted to kiss him while he was so close. She slammed her front door shut after him and grabbed a pillow from the couch nearby and shoved her face into the fabric to muffle her agitated scream. 


	6. Chapter 6

            Lily was agitated the whole day. She was fuming over James and how frustrated he made her. Midnight rolled around and she couldn’t even fall asleep she was so worked up. She was sitting up on her bed texting Marlene, ranting about her idiot neighbor, when Lily heard a noise in the front room of her apartment. Immediately, she stopped and her heart froze. Lily set her phone down and slowly moved off the bed. Her mind went instantly to the worst-case scenario and a serial killer was in her place. She grabbed the baseball bat that rested near her bed, it was her only protection at the moment but she was going to use it if necessary. Lily crept towards the door and nudged it open. She screamed when she saw two men dressed in all black going through her apartment. Both of them looked up in fear and quickly ran out of the room through the front door. Lily nearly fainted in pure panic and screamed again.

            James heard the scream because he was awake too thinking and rethinking everything that had happened with Lily. He reacted quickly and left his apartment to see Lily’s door practically hanging off its hinges. He caught sight of the two men fleeing down the hallway but he decided that he needed to make sure that Lily was okay first. He rushed into her apartment. “Lils? Lily?” He called with worry lacing his voice.

            She was still standing in her bedroom doorway hyperventilating. She dropped the bat and covered her mouth with her hands. She was frozen in fear and could hardly move to look at James.

            “Hey, what happened were you robbed?” James asked walking up to her and putting two hands on either side of her arms. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” He couldn’t see her too well in the dim light and was afraid she was injured.

            Lily shook her head no but she couldn’t get the words out. Her knees buckled in and she almost fell to the floor.

            James made sure she didn’t topple over and held her upright. He led her to the couch and sat her down. He turned on the light to make sure she was unharmed. He knelt down in front of her and put a hand on her cheek. “Hey, hey, look at me.” He said softly. Lily’s green eyes went to his hazel ones. “You’re okay, they’re gone, and I’m here. I’m going to protect you, yeah?”

            Lily finally took in a shaky breath. “O-okay…” She nodded slowly.

            “I’ll call the police for you. Just stay here.” James said and went to find her landline to call.

            Lily drew her knees up to her chest, still in shock that the situation had actually happened. “Oh my God…” She whispered under her breath. She could hardly hear James talking to the police.

            James finished up with the report and went to check on Lily. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked.

            Lily nodded. “I’m-I’m just a little shocked.” She mumbled. “Sorry for waking you up.” She said quietly. She had no anger for him after he had come to her aid.

            “I wasn’t sleeping so it’s okay. I just want to know that you’re okay.” James said shaking his head. “Look, no matter how we bicker I’m your neighbor and I’m going to protect you.” He told her truthfully.

            Lily looked at him and bit her lip. “Thank you, James.” She whispered. “That means a lot…”

            James smiled and stood up. “So, the cops won’t be here ‘til tomorrow morning.” He told her. “Do you want to stay the night in my apartment?” He offered.

            Lily thought to herself for a little bit. She had no desires to stay in her apartment with the broken lock and the potential that the robbers could come back. However, she was unsure about staying in the same place as James. She figured it was her only choice though because Marlene was too far away and it was too late to get a cab. She sighed and nodded. “Do you mind? I don’t want to intrude.” Lily hiccupped involuntarily.

            “It’s no problem, Lils, don’t even worry about it.” James shook his head and held out a hand to her.

            “You’re not calling me Evans.” Lily pointed out to him when she noticed herself. She took his hand and shakily stood up.

            James half smiled. “Yeah I’m really not up to teasing you. I’m sort of in protective mode.” He shrugged and went across the hallway to his place.

            Lily followed him actually liking this side of her neighbor. “Well, thank you again. I don’t know a lot of people who would drop everything to come help me.” She admitted.

            “I’m sure a lot of people would.” James opened his door and let her inside. “You’re a likable person, Lily.” He said gently.

            Lily’s cheeks turned pink. “Oh…uh thank you. You’re quite charismatic yourself but you probably already knew that.” She supposed.

            James smirked. “I just washed my sheets and made my bed so you can take it if you want. I don’t mind the couch.”

            “Uh…okay. Are you sure? I don’t mind the couch either.” She told him truthfully. She didn’t want to completely kick him out of his own bed.

            “I insist.” James said. “And if you need a change of clothes I have some t-shirts and sweatpants if you want.” He offered. “Make yourself at home.”

            “Thank you James, you’ve done more than enough.” Lily said gently. She looked down the hallway. “Are you sure?” She asked again.

            James nodded. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He said and went to get a few blankets for the couch.

            “Goodnight.” Lily cautiously went down the hall and found James’s room. It was cleaner than she expected, there were a few band posters on the wall, and a picture of James and his friends in a frame on his dresser. Lily pulled the covers back as gently as she could and went to his dresser. She opened the first drawer but quickly closed it when she saw his underwear. She tried to control her blushing and went into another drawer to find the t-shirts and sweats he was talking about. She pulled out a soft gray shirt and black sweatpants. She closed the door to change into the clothes that were way too big but insanely comfortable. She got under the covers and when she rustled the sheets she inhaled an intoxicating scent. She realized it was probably exactly how James smelled; dryer sheets and a cinnamon smelling body wash or cologne. It made Lily relax completely and her eyelids became so heavy she had to drift off asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

            In the morning James was up before Lily was. He would never tell her how uncomfortable his shitty couch really was. He didn’t want her to blame herself for the break in.

            She woke up almost an hour after him but at a reasonable time as well seeing that a burglar rather rudely woke her up. She yawned and felt her mind was clear and able to know exactly where she was when she opened her eyes. It partly had to do with James’s unfamiliar scent surrounding her. Lily sat up and went through processing the events of the previous night again. Her apartment had been broken into. She screamed and the robber ran away. James heard and immediately came to her aid. Anything could have been happening but he went to save her anyways. She didn’t know what to think about her neighbor anymore. He was this dashing prince who occasionally made smart remarks about her underwear or how little she could actually drink. Could she really put him with that infuriating smirk? Lily sighed and figured she owed him at least something for coming to help her. She got out of his bed and shuffled into the small living space right outside of the hall.

            “”Morning.” James looked up when he heard his door open. He smiled at her. What she couldn’t see though is how his stomach twisted in knots and his heart physically ached when he saw her wearing his clothes. He felt like a little boy again falling helplessly into puppy love. He cleared his throat and had to remind himself not to fail.

            “Good morning.” Lily said back in a gentle voice. She glanced down at his clothes. “I can go over to my apartment and change.” She offered.

            James of course didn’t want her to change but he knew the police would be there to talk to her soon. “Yeah sure.” He nodded.

            “Could you…uh stand by the door because the lock doesn’t work?” Lily asked awkwardly.

            James nodded again. “Of course.” He followed her out to the hall and stood in front of the front door as she closed it.

            Lily changed and neatly folded his clothes. She felt odd in her own clothes because his were so comfortable and warm. She put the shirt and sweatpants over her arm and went back out. She handed the clothes to James. “Thanks again for everything you did last night.”

            “It’s really nothing, Lils.” James replied honestly. “You’re my…my neighbor and I’m there for you.” He had to bite his tongue from saying she was his girlfriend. He felt like an idiot that he was falling for Lily. He thought it was obvious that she didn’t like him. “Do you want me to stay with you while you talk to the police?” James asked her.

            “Uh…do you want to?” Lily asked thinking it would actually be better if he was there to support her.

            “Yeah of course. I mean I witnessed some things so that might be helpful.” James shrugged.

            “I can make coffee in my apartment if you want.” Lily opened the door for him to give him a smile.

            James looked a little surprised. “Really? Thanks…” He knew he was hoping he could at least keep a nice relationship with her even if they wouldn’t go beyond friends.


	8. Chapter 8

            Lily talked to the police for a bit and then James got his statement in. They said there wasn’t much they could do because neither got a good look at the robber’s face but they would keep the case open. In the meantime she was on the phone with her frantic mother.     
            “A break-in? Oh Lily I knew something like this would happen.” Elizabeth was close to being hysterical. “Didn’t I say something like this would happen Will? When Lily moved to the city didn’t I say something bad would happen to her?” She talked off the line to her husband.  
            Lily sighed and rolled her eyes. “Honestly, mum, I’m fine. Please don’t worry about it.”  
            “What if it happens again?” Elizabeth demanded. “I told you, you should’ve stayed in York just like your sister. She’s much safer here.”  
            “But I love it here. I’m going to stay I just need you to know that I’m perfectly safe.” Lily answered. “How about I come visit you for Christmas?” She offered even though she was previously planning to celebrate the holiday in London.  
            Elizabeth sighed. “I would love to have you for Christmas.” She said. “But please call more often, you’re driving your father and I crazy. We don’t know how you’re doing or if you have any friends…”  
            “Mum, I’m doing just fine.” Lily cut her worrying off. “My neighbor is very…” She glanced over at James who was busy doing something else on his phone and didn’t seem to be paying any attention to her. “He’s kind and he helped me last night with the break-in.” She told her mother.  
            “Well why don’t you just bring him along then. In primary school I got to meet your friends now suddenly you’re keeping them all from me.” Elizabeth complained.  
            Lily’s cheeks turned bright red. “He wouldn’t want to come from Christmas, mum.” She mumbled.  
            “Have you asked him?”  
            “Well no but…”  
            “Then you don’t know. Text me when he responds.” Elizabeth said firmly. “And don’t say you have other plans, I expect at least you to be there.”  
            Lily nodded. “Alright, I’ll do that. Goodbye.” She said and hung up. She looked over to James.  
            He glanced up and smiled in a friendly manner. “Alright?” He asked.  
            Lily nodded and sat down across from him in the armchair. “I guess so, my mum and dad are all worried about me though.” She shrugged. “So I promised to be there for Christmas, it’s the least I can do.”  
            “Where do they live?” James wondered.  
            “York.” Lily groaned. “It’s a horrible drive.” She hated just the idea of enduring the long drive just for a weekend.  
            “I wouldn’t mind driving you up there.” James said. He in fact  _had_ heard the conversation and was flattered in the least.  
            Lily sighed. “You were listening weren’t you?” She gave him a look.  
            “I heard bits and pieces.” James gestured with his hand and smirked. “I’m sorry but I had nothing else to do.” He admitted. “Besides, I figured that if I offered to drive you it would make you feel less guilty about asking me.”  
            Lily ran her fingers through her hair. “Yeah okay.” She gave in. “But only because you asked first.” She told him firmly. “Otherwise, I would’ve said no.”  
            James grinned. “Nah, I don’t think you would’ve. But to make you feel better how about you come to my family’s for Easter?” He bargained. It also gave him a reason to spend time with her extending into the future months.  
            Lily smiled and nodded. “If you insist.” She teased. “But really, I would love to. It’s the least I can do, James.”  
            “Well not the least you could do, Evans, but it’s a good start.” James poked fun at her right back.  
            Lily rolled her eyes. “So we’re back to Evans now?” She questioned.  
            “Yeah I think I’ll go back and forth. You’ll know I’m serious when I call you Lily.” James decided.  
            She couldn’t help but fall for his charming antics. And she knew she was falling so fast that it would hurt when she hit the ground.  
   
                        Lily’s parents lived way up North in York about four hours away from London.   
            “Thanks so much for coming with me.” Lily said gently and looked over at James who was driving.  
            “It’s no problem. You said you’d come to my parents’ for Easter so we’re even.” He smiled back at her.   
            “Where do your parents live?” Lily asked knowing he hadn’t told her yet.  
            “Brighton, right on the water. It’s a nice place.” James shrugged. He figured it would be a long time until spring so they wouldn’t have to worry about the drive yet even though it was shorter than going to York.  
            “You grew up there?”  
            James nodded. “Yep, then we moved to London for a bit for dad’s work. I stayed for school and they went back to the beach.” He smiled. “They like it there the most but I’ve always been more inclined to the city.”  
            “Me too.” Lily agreed. “These last months have been fun.” She caught herself staring because it wasn’t London that she found fun it was the people who lived in it. Or…one certain person. She cleared her throat and glanced out the window to distract herself.  
            James noticed her staring out of the corner of his eye. He smiled to himself but didn’t say anything. He just kept driving towards Lily’s parents’ house. 


	9. Chapter 9

            James pulled up to the small cottage where Lily had grown up. It was made of stone and trestles covered part of the front wall. James could imagine it would be covered with ivy and flowers in the spring. But since England had been covered in snow everything in Mrs. Evans garden had withered away. It was still a charming house though and James had no problem seeing Lily growing up there.

            The two stepped out of the car and Lily sighed when she saw the front walkway to the door wasn’t shoveled. Snow up to her knees covered the whole front lawn. That could only mean one thing to her. “My dad’s back must be getting worse with the cold.” She mumbled.

            “Oh…that’s bad.” James said. “I could take care of it.” He offered. “Don’t want anyone slipping or having to plow through it.”

            Lily shook her head. “It’s fine, Petunia and I can do it later.” She assured him and went to the backseat to get their things. She passed his duffle bag over to him.

            “Evans, you have to know that I’m not one to back down from things.” He said and put his bag over his shoulder. He bent down a bit and scooped her up off her feet.

            “James!” Lily squeaked in surprise. “What are you doing?” She asked him as he started to walk through the snow to the front door.

            “You’ll drown in this amount of snow, it’s better if I carry you through it.” James said with a teasing smile. “Besides I’ve carried you before and it probably won’t be the last time.”

            “Why is it your mission to both irritate and help me?” Lily asked with a sigh. She didn’t make an attempt to struggle out of his arms because she was only wearing thin leggings that the snow would surely soak right through.

            James shrugged. “Because you’re cute when you’re angry and when you’re blushing. I try to get a little bit of both.” He said and set her down on the front porch.

            “Oh so I’m just eye candy to you?” Lily crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him with stern green eyes. But she was flattered deep down that he had said that about her.

            “Not at all, you’re way more to me than that.” He said softly in a voice she rarely heard him use.

            They continued to look at each other and James was so tempted. Her cheeks turning bright red from the cold interrupted her pale features, her lips were full and shone with lip-gloss, and her green eyes were bright like they were reflecting the snow. He wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss her.

            Lily wouldn’t have protested because she was looking back at him hoping he would. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, the front of his jet black hair was poking out from under a knit winter hat, and his hazel eyes made her feel warm inside despite the frigid air.

            But Elizabeth Evans opening the door interrupted them. “What are you two doing just standing outside? It’s freezing out, you’ll catch your death!” She hurried them in with the typical mother’s franticness.

            After some short introductions and James commenting on Will Evan’s rugby memorabilia on the mantle which made the man extremely proud and welcoming.

            “I hope you two don’t mind Lily’s room, but Petunia is home too and the guest room is full of storage.” Elizabeth said as the two followed her down the hall with their bags.

            Lily’s footsteps stuttered. “Mum, I told you ‘Tunia and I would share a room.” She reminded her mother.

            “Nonsense, James wouldn’t want to stay alone in your sister’s room. After all, why wouldn’t you stay with your boyfriend?” She asked.

            James glanced over at Lily. He was sure he hadn’t heard her tell her mom that they were dating. But he supposed she could have called back…

            “Mum!” Lily protested. “We’re not dating! I told you James was my neighbor!”

            “Well, we’re neighbor’s with Mr. Fields but he doesn’t carry me across the lawn to the front door.” Elizabeth said with a sly glint in her eyes. “Here we are, get settled and come out to get some tea.” She said and left quickly.

            Lily’s mouth was opened in dumbstruck. “I-I’m so sorry I don’t know how she got the impression that we were…I never said…I didn’t know she was watching.” All of her thoughts came rushing out at once. She looked over at James expecting to see him in horror or possibly trying to escape through the front door but in fact he looked fairly amused.

            “S’alright Lily, we can spend a few nights in the same bed.” He said and stepped into her room.

            Lily stayed frozen in the hallway for a bit. James Potter…sleeping in the same bed as her. She shook her head and followed him in.

            He was looking around at all the old artifacts that Mrs. Evans had kept even as Lily went to university. “Yikes talk about extracurricular.” He said as he observed all the ribbons and trophies from various activities she’d done over her school years.

            Lily shrugged sheepishly and a blush crept up on her cheeks as she set her suitcase down on the floral bedspread that she’d had since she was a child. “I dunno, I was just interested in a lot of things.”

            “Chess…. horse-back riding…soccer…spelling bee…debate…ballet…did you have any free time?” James looked back at her.

            “I didn’t do them all at once.” Lily shook her head. “But yes I did.”

            “Why am I totally not surprised about you being the A-plus student and champion of everything you accomplished?” James grinned and set his things down as well.

            Lily rolled her eyes. “I didn’t always win.” She muttered. “Besides they were all just…kid things. I don’t get awards now for nursing.”

            James laughed. “Okay sure you don’t.” He teased and pointed to her degree and a small nursing award from her university.

            “Shut up.” Lily’s cheeks were bright red now and she couldn’t hide it. James’s praising was making her smile stupidly. “I hate you.”

            “No you don’t.” James grinned and went to leave. “C’mon, I’m cold and tea sounded like the perfect antidote.”

            Lily smiled and followed him. “I am too. My mum’s always…” She stopped when she noticed something hanging above the end of the hallway that led right out into the kitchen. “Mum!” Her eyes widened as she looked down from the mistletoe down to her mother who was in the kitchen looking completely innocent.

            “Yes dear?” She asked though her back was turned she knew what the fuss was about.

            “Why did you put this up?” Lily demanded. “It’s not funny!”

            “It’s tradition dearest, it’s not just for you.” Elizabeth replied with a shrug.

            Lily ground her teeth but her demeanor instantly changed when she felt James put a hand on her cheek and bent down slightly. He came an inch away from her face when he whispered with a small smirk, “tradition, Evans.” Then he kissed her.


	10. Chapter 10

            After Lily’s red blush had finally gone down a little they ate dinner together. Her and James sat beside each other across from Petunia and Mrs. Evans, while Mr. Evans sat at the head of the table. There was some light chat, James was talking to Will about rugby and Petunia and Elizabeth were gossiping about her roommates. Lily was quiet and found herself glancing over at James as he spoke to her father. She sighed and looked down at her hands. She felt like she had a hundred things to say to him but couldn’t say any of them in front of her family. Lily supposed she would have to wait until after dinner. She rested her elbow on the table and rested her chin on his hand.

 

            “You were quiet during dinner.” Will commented as he washed the dishes with Lily drying beside him.

            “Oh I’m just tired it was a long drive. James was nice enough to drive though.” Lily smiled. “Everything’s alright though da I promise.”

            Will looked over at her with a similar smile to hers. “We miss you a lot while you’re in that big city. You’re staying safe? That break in gave us quite the scare.”

            “I know but really it’s fine now.” Lily assured him. “I got a better lock and the apartment building hired better security for the door.”

            “That’s good. And I bet James will help you too.” Will glanced over at her with a knowing look. “You two seem to be getting along.”

            Lily’s cheeks turned red. “Oh…right…well…. we’re getting to be close _friends._ ” She tried to establish to her father they her and James were just friends. “He does watch over me to make sure I’m safe though.” She nodded. “And he’s very kind….” Her voice faded away when she thought about him.

            “Just make sure you don’t move too fast with him.” Will said gently. “I don’t want my little girl getting hurt.”

            Lily smiled and nodded. She finished drying the last bowl and put it away. “I promise daddy.” She kissed his cheek. “I missed you too.” She walked down the hall her mind still racing.

            James was already dressed for bed wearing just a pair of sweatpants. He was fiddling on his phone but wasn’t getting great reception so he put it down and just waited for Lily. His stomach was turning from nerves because he wasn’t sure what Lily would say or do when she found him in her bed. He wouldn’t have very long to find out.

            Lily walked in and her footsteps hesitated when she saw James was already in bed. She cleared her throat. “Oh…uh sorry I didn’t know you were in here...”

            “Don’t apologize, s’your room.” James pointed out and reached his arms up to stretch.

            Lily’s green eyes locked on his abs and found herself counting every muscle. She shook her head and went to get a pair of pajamas. She rifled through her clothes but couldn’t find anything she really wanted to wear in front of him. They weren’t scandalous but most of them consisted of ten-year-old, grimy shirts from camp and clubs but were so comfy they were the only ones she wore to bed. While her bottoms were either too big sweatpants or shorts with hearts or teddies on them. Lily sighed and picked out the best she could find, a debate competition shirt that only had one old stain at the hem and a pair of black sweatpants that her arse wasn’t lost in. She straightened up and went to get changed but Petunia was in the bathroom.

            “’Tunia, can I change real quick?” Lily called through the door and over the running water.

            “I’m taking a shower!” Petunia replied none too caring towards her sister. “Go away!”  

            “Can I use your room then?” Lily pleaded.

            “No!” Petunia retorted sharply. “Stay out of my room!”

            Lily sighed and went to her parents’ bathroom, the only one left. “Mum, can I use your bathroom to change?” She asked.

            “I wouldn’t love, your father’s been in there for quite a while.” Elizabeth called back.

            Lily rolled her eyes not wanting the imagery and went back to her room. “Close your eyes and turn your back.” She instructed to James.

            “What?” He looked confused.

            “I have nowhere else to change.” Lily said and I don’t want you looking so close your eyes and turn away.” She repeated.

            James sighed but did as he was told. He looked down at his hands and waited. He heard the rustling of fabric. His male curiosity got the better of him and he quickly peeked over his shoulder. He felt like fainting the second he saw her. He turned right around again and kept the image of her curvy, beautiful body gently speckled with freckles. He felt a little guilty and his cheeks turned red. That damn woman was making him lose his edge.

            Lily was turned away from him so she didn’t notice him sneak a look. She finished getting dressed. “Okay, I’m decent…” She said and went to pull back the covers. She stopped. “Are you?” She asked.

            “What? Oh yeah.” James tugged the covers down to show her the sweatpants. “Don’t worry.”

            “Just checking.” Lily said and got in the bed as far away from him as possible. She was almost nearly falling off the edge but she didn’t want to touch him and make things awkward for the both of them. She leaned over and turned off the desk lamp. “Uh…goodnight I guess.” She said quietly.

            “’Night Lils.” James murmured back and shifted over so he was a tad bit closer to her. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep pretty easily.

            Lily’s eyes were still wide open though. She could feel his warmth radiating from him. She bit her lip and moved back a bit so her back was pressed against his chest. It felt natural not awkward. She closed her eyes and listened to his heart. It relaxed her and she drifted off.


	11. Chapter 11

            When Lily woke up she was sprawled across her childhood bed. It wasn’t completely out of the ordinary; it was how she normally slept. There was the fact that she was half spread out over her neighbor, which was a little out of the ordinary. Her legs were tangled with James’s and her head was resting on his chest.  
            That neighbor was awake but he couldn’t move. He didn’t want to wake Lily up but he knew he would if he tried to slide out from under her. James bit his lip and looked for another way to escape but couldn’t see one. He figured it wasn’t the worst situation he could be in, a beautiful girl asleep on his chest. He gently moved a hand to run his fingers through her fiery red hair. For a moment it almost felt like they were dating. James was meeting her parents for the first time, they were sleeping in the same bed, and he could touch her as softly as he’d always thought about.  
            Under his gentle touch, a purr-like sound came from Lily’s throat and she shifted over on his chest. She opened her eyes with a yawn and stretched. She rolled over a bit and accidentally crushed James’s hand under her.  
            He jumped a bit and pulled his hand back. “Good morning.” He winced but it hadn’t hurt that much so he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it.  
            Lily woke up more and discovered the situation she was tangled in…literally. She hurried to get herself off James entirely, but her childhood bed was a bit smaller than she remembered. Lily tumbled off the bed and hit her elbow on the hardwood floor. “Bloody hell.” She hissed in pain.  
            James leaned over to look down at her from the bed. “Evans, did you just swear?” He grinned in almost delight.  
            “Shut it and help me up.” Lily held out a hand so he could pull her to her feet. She nursed her elbow. “That hurt.” She complained.  
            “It was your own fault, sweetheart. That’s what happens when you try to get away from me too fast.” He teased with a smirk. “Come sit I’ll have a look at it.”  
            Although Lily didn’t appreciate what he’d just said, she sat down on the bed anyways. She let him look at the bruise that was starting to form right on her elbow.  
            James moved closer to her and ever so carefully took her arm to examine the mark. “Oh that’s a nasty one.” He remarked.  
            Lily was practically quivering under his soft touch and she tried her best to hide it. He glanced up at her with those warm eyes and she all but melted. She almost forgot that she was supposed to be mad at him for what he’d said. She swallowed and gazed back at him. “James…” She said quietly but she had nothing to say. She just wanted to hear his name out loud to hear if it was real or not.  
            “Yes?” The teasing look was gone and all that was left was a sense of adoration.  
            Lily bit her lip. Something popped up in her head that she wanted to say to him. She didn’t know if it was because of how he was looking at her or how they were sitting so close to each other. “Would you kiss me again?” Her voice barely went above a whisper.  
            James felt like angels were singing in his head, a Christmas miracle was something real, and whatever God there was he’d opened up the heavens and winked at the Potter boy. He nodded eagerly. “Of course.”  
            Lily blushed a bit at his enthusiasm. “Then do it.” She said almost challenging him. Of course she knew he would do it, just by the way he nodded but she wanted to goad him on. She wanted to make him want to do it badly.  
            Even though James was beyond thrilled to kiss her again, he took his time. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and let his palm rest on her cheek. He moved in slowly and stayed just a centimeter away from her lips. Lily blinked and felt her eyelashes brush against his skin. His warm breath tickled her cheeks but she felt like she couldn’t breathe at all with him so close.  
            James figured he was done teasing her a bit and kissed her. Lily didn’t know how they could mesh together so perfectly but they did. Even if their attitudes clashed, their bodies didn’t. They moved together with clear simplicity, linked together like an infinity sign. They just worked. 


	12. Chapter 12

            “C’mon, Evans, don’t be afraid.”  
            James and Lily were outside standing at the top of a large hill that she and Petunia used to sled down when they were younger. Lily apparently never realized how steep it was though and as she looked down the decline she felt butterflies in her stomach.“What if I hit a tree?” Lily asked biting her lip.  
            “You won’t hit a tree.” James promised. “The furthest tree is not even close and I'll lean so we'll avoid it anyways should it happen.” He pointed out.  
            Lily sat down on the old toboggan with uncertainty. “I dunno…” She was still anxious that she’d hurt herself, break a limb or throw out her back. “I was so much younger when ‘Tunia and I did this…now I’m older and I could really hurt myself if we crashed or fell.”  
            “C’mon it’s not like you’re eighty.” James rolled his eyes and sat down behind her. “You have to live a little, Evans, not matter what the risks are.”  
            “I do live!” Lily retorted weakly. But she knew that she preferred tea at home curled up on the couch to drinking with friends at a pub. If she told James that though, she knew he’d scoff and say that ‘wasn’t living’. She had never even been out of the country before. “Maybe you need to stop living so riskily.” Lily replied trying to defend herself righteously.   
            “Maybe, but I won’t start today.” James said and without warning her, he used his hand to push the toboggan and give it a bit of momentum to start speeding down the hill.  
            Lily screamed and covered her eyes with her mitten-covered hands She prayed for the first time in a while as they plummeted down the slope. James just laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. The sled tipped forward towards the end of the hill and Lily and James tumbled out into the snow. James held onto her as they rolled down the rest of the hill. He ended up on top of her at the base of the hill. They were both laughing, out of breath.  
            James looked down at her with a smile on his face. Lily’s cheeks were bright red from the cold air and laughing, her green eyes sparkled brightly, and tiny snowflakes adorned her red hair like an icy tiara. His heart rate increased and he knew it wasn’t because of the fall. “I’ve never told you how beautiful you are, Lily.” He said out of nowhere.  
            Lily’s eyes became wide and her cheeks reddened even more. “Oh…uh…well you don’t…you don’t have too tell me that. Really unnecessary, I think....”  
            “Why wouldn’t I?” James asked still hovering over her in the snow. “You are beautiful so why wouldn’t I tell you?” He tilted his head slightly like a confused puppy.  
            She cleared her throat like there was something stuck in it. “You’re glasses are dirty.” Lily said not wanting to dwell on the idea of her being beautiful because she never saw it that way. James grinned slightly and let her take his glasses off. “That’s why you’re saying that I'm...you know because you can’t see me clearly with these foggy glasses.” She said and wiped off his glasses gently.  
            “No, I can see you just fine. Why don’t you think I’m right?” James asked his smile fading away. Her self consciousness made him feel upset. He wanted her to know that she was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.  
            “Because I know what I look like.” Lily shrugged.  
            “No one knows what they truly look like. We have a mental perception but it's never correct.” James shook his head. “If you could see yourself through my eyes instead of through a mirror you’d definitely agree with me.” He said and stood up holding a hand out to her.  
            “I believe that you believe that.” Lily replied with fake confidence and stood up with his help. “But I know I wouldn't agree with you just like I don't agree with you about a lot of things.”  
            James rolled his eyes at her pompous response. “Well you’re more beautiful than your personality sometimes.” He mumbled hoping she wouldn't really hear him that well.   
            Lily for sure heard though and stepped towards him to shove him back into the snow. “Rude boy.” She grabbed the sled and went to head up the hill.   
            “Hey, I’m sorry.” James tried to get up and reach up for her help with a weak laugh. She kept walking though and didn’t turn around. “Wait, Lils c’mon!” He struggled to get up with the heavy coat in the snow. “Lily, seriously, I’m sorry you’re beautiful inside and outside!” He called but she just kept going laughing to herself.   
           "Happy Christmas, James Potter!" She called over her shoulder.   
           James groaned. "Why do I love you?" He mumbled to himself and got to his feet to catch up to her on top of the hill. He knew she didn't hear him and he would keep it that way because he never thought she'd say the words he wanted her to say back to him. 


	13. Chapter 13

            James and Lily were shoveling out the walkway later that day for her family. “So are you and Petunia close?” James asked as he worked.

            Lily shrugged but kept shoveling. It wasn’t a subject she really liked to talk about. “We used to be when we were younger. But when we got into our teenager years I suppose we just fell apart as sisters. Mum and dad seemed to think I’d do better in university so they put most of their money towards my education. Petunia did good though…in fact I think she could’ve excelled if she’d been giving the same chance I was.” She sighed. “I don’t blame her for not liking me.”

            “Well, s’not your fault.” James said. “I mean…you did pretty well you’re a nurse and everything.”

            “You’re an only child aren’t you?” Lily figured.

            James nodded. “Yeah, how’d you know that?” He asked and stopped for a second. He leaned against the shovel and looked at her.

            She stopped to so she could properly look him in the eyes. “Because siblings are supposed to be given equal opportunity.” Lily told him. “At least that’s what I think. My parents shouldn’t’ve put me on a pedestal.”

            “Oh…okay.” James decided he didn’t know enough on the matter to put in his ideas. “Do you think you could be friends again?” He asked as they got back to work on the thick snow covering the walkway.

            “I dunno.” Lily admitted. “I love her but she just doesn’t seem to care for me. Don’t blame her…” She said again.

 

            Later on Lily was curled up in James’s arms on her bed. She was reading an anatomy book that another nurse had suggested to her. She was elbow deep in the content and perfectly fine with the silence around her. She felt a little odd being so close to James but they’d grown closer during the holidays and for once she didn’t completely mind. She didn’t mind, that is, until he started to distract her from her reading.

            It started with an innocent nuzzle, the tip of his nose grazing down her neck, the rim of his glasses cool against her skin. It made her shiver a bit but she kept her eyes on the text in her hands. Then James pulled her closer by her waist making the book tilt a bit but she didn’t care as long as she could keep reading. Next he started to kiss her neck, softly at first and then more insistent. The words on the page were starting to fade away as Lily’s mind wandered more to James. She purred softly like a kitten and the book started to slip away from her hands. Gently, James took it from her and closed it, tossing it aside so she wouldn’t be bothered by it. It was a part of his master plan, which took him a good hour of her reading to get the courage to do. He wasn’t sure if she’d push him away, slap him, or do something crazy like take off all her clothes and pin him down. Though that wouldn’t be the worst thing… James slowly moved her onto her back so he was hovering over her.

            Lily’s eyes wandered to her book that was rudely discarded on the floor. “Hey mister, I was reading that.” She said breaking the long silence.

            “Mhm…” James hummed against her throat, still peppering her skin with kisses.

            “You’re being…distracting.” Lily’s sentence was interrupted by a pleasured sigh. “I need to….I shouldn’t…I…” She closed her eyes and gave into his plan.

            James continued happily, kissing up her jaw and finally meeting her lips. He could be patient now that he knew she was okay with it all. He could take his time and try to slow down his rapid heartbeat. He ran his fingers through her fiery hair as he languidly moved his lips around hers. He couldn’t remember the last time he took his time with a girl. He was always quick to get what he wanted and leave. But for once he was concerned with what Lily was doing, what Lily wanted, what Lily needed, Lily. It was only Lily in his mind, it felt like he wasn’t even a person anymore; he didn’t have needs because he just wanted her to be happy. He felt satisfied when he heard a soft moan vibrate from her.

            Then Lily remembered where she was. The front door shut with a slight slam and she jolted up, nearly throwing James off of her. “What are you doing? We can’t do this in my parents’ house!” She hissed at him.

            James sighed. “Sorry, you’re right…” He grumbled feeling almost embarrassed. James Potter, embarrassed?

            Lily looked at him with a sweet smile. “Maybe when we get back home though.” She promised him. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t want more of what they’d just done.

            “Your place or mine?” James winked at her.

            “Yours, Bayard has the ability to interrupt everything.” Lily said about her cat with a wince.

            James laughed and nodded. “Well, he introduced us so I guess I’ll have to thank the little guy later.” He murmured.

            “When we get home though. Now you have to be the polite, caring, and parent pleasing boy-” Lily stopped herself. Was she really going to say boyfriend? They weren’t dating though and what made her think that James would _want_ to date her?

            James gave her a sly look. “Were you going to say boyfriend?” He asked with a hidden sense of happiness. He didn’t want to give away too much of his emotions only to be let down.

            “What? No, no of course not. I just said boy…man…uh…” Lily sputtered, her face turning bright red.

            “It’s okay, Lils. We can talk about it later. I understand I have to be the good boy here.” James replied craftily and kissed her forehead before walking out to the den.

            Lily stood there and realized he had just gotten her back for leaving him in the snow. She smiled to herself and turned to follow him. She suddenly couldn’t wait to get back home.  


	14. Chapter 14

            “Your parents are really nice.” James said as they drove home. “Thanks for inviting me.”

            Lily looked over at him with a smile. “Thank you for coming. I can’t imagine driving through this snow alone.” She looked out the windshield nervously. It was near blizzard conditions and was getting late too.

            “Afraid of getting stranded in a snow bank.” James teased. “S’not that bad anyways.”

            Lily smiled and shook her head. “Well thank you anyways. You’re strangely nice.”

            “Strangely?” James looked over at her. “Is that meant to be an insult?”

            “No! It’s…it’s half of a compliment. I just never expected you to do half the stuff you did there.” Lily admitted. “I was nervous going alone but I was nervous bringing you along too. We haven’t known each other for that long.” She pointed out.

            “Right.” James shrugged. “Oh…I forgot your present.” He said when he suddenly remembered. “It’s in the backseat if you want to get it.”

            Lily looked surprised. “You didn’t have to get me a present, I-I didn’t get you one. I’d feel bad…”

            “Don’t be.” James shook his head firmly. “I want you to have it. I already bought it and wrapped it so what’s the point in you refusing it now?” He asked.

            Lily sighed. “Alright but I will make it up to you.” She promised in a warning tone. She reached back to grab the wrapped gift. 

            “You don’t have to make it up to me…well maybe a few kisses here and there.” James teased. “As long as you’re still up for that?”

            Lily looked away from the present. “What are you going on about?” She questioned suspiciously.

            “Well, I mean are things going to go back to the way they were once we get back to our flats?” James asked. It had been on his mind for a while after the trip.

            “I don’t…I hadn’t thought about it.” She admitted. “But I don’t think it should change I mean…look how different everything’s become.”

            “Yeah…no kidding.” James scratched the back of his neck. “So where does that leave us?”

            Lily froze up. She had no idea how to answer the question. “I…don’t know where do you want that to leave us?” She threw the question back at him to avoid it. She didn’t want to be embarrassed if he didn’t feel the same as she did.

            “Sirius texted me and told me to buck up.” James told her. “I think he’s probably right but…I don’t know.” He glanced over at her for a second before looking back at the road. “I’ve never been the brave one.”

            “You were brave to come to my family’s house for the holidays. I mean it’s not like we’re dating, you didn’t’ have to come along.” Lily pointed out to him.

            James chuckled. “Well, you’re not wrong…but I’m thinking about something even more courageous.”

            “Telling me how you feel?”

            “Exactly.” James smiled nervously.

            “Well…” Lily looked down at the present. “Think about it while I open this.” She offered.

            “That actually might be part of it though.” James admitted. “I mean…well you’ll see.” He gestured for her to open it.

            Lily carefully unwrapped the neatly wrapped box. The box itself was only black with no indication to what was inside. “Great,” she decided to tease him a bit with the same joke her dad told sometimes, “a box, it’s just what I’ve wanted.”

            James rolled his eyes but a smile peeked through. “Very funny, just open the box. The suspense is killing me.” He was only partly kidding because he was nervous she wouldn’t like it or wouldn’t take it the right way.

            Lily smiled and opened the box. Sitting inside was a silver chain necklace with two things attached. One was a small charm of a deer antler and the other was a key. She looked over at James so he could explain it.

            “That’s a key to my apartment.” He clarified. “It’s so you can come in anytime and the charm is just to remember me by.”

            Lily wasn’t sure if she knew he could be so thoughtful. She realized he was full of more surprises than he was of playful smirks and winks. “Thank you…” She said quietly. “This means a lot.”

            “I guess it sort of means I…I want to be with you. I’m not asking you to move in but I sort of want to see more of Lily Evans.” James admitted in a sheepish voice.

            Lily bit her lip. “Pull over.”

            “What…?” It wasn’t really the answer he was thinking she was going to say.

            “Just pull over.”

            “Okay…” James pulled over to the side of the road and parked the car. “Why did you…”

            Lily cut him off with a deep kiss. She figured it was the only thing he needed to understand. 


	15. Chapter 15

            “What did I tell you Rem?” Sirius crowed.  
            James and Lily bolted up. They’d spent the previous night together, their first attempt at being a couple. Of course James wanted to do a little more but Lily tested his patience to make sure she’d made the right decision. She brushed off his attempts to seduce her. After a few lousy pick-up lines that fell flat and several long kisses that Lily ended prematurely, James gave in and settled into bed with her after tea.  
            That’s how Sirius and Remus found them the next morning. Lily was naturally curled up in a fetal position in the crook of James’s arm. Her hand rested lightly on his chest and her legs wove in neatly with his. James kept her close, part of his face getting lost in her red hair.  
            Sirius interrupted their peaceful slumber though when he and Remus walked into the apartment to ask James out to drinks for New Years Eve.  
            “Sirius, don’t just storm into his room!” Remus called after his fiancée when he saw him burst into the next room.  
            “Look, Remus!” Sirius yelled back.  
            Lily bolted up but James was a little slower to get up. He blinked a few times thinking it was all a terrible dream.  “Sirius? What the bloody hell, are you doing?” He slurred tiredly.  
            Lily’s face turned bright red and she untangled herself from James. She got out of the bed. “Sirius, nice to see you.” She said breathlessly.  
            “Nice to see you too, and in my mate’s bed!” Sirius grinned. “I suppose the holidays went well for you two now didn’t they?”  
            “Shut it!” James muttered and buried his head in his pillow.  
            “I’m just trying to be nice, what am I doing?” Sirius glanced back at his fiancée who was glaring at him unhappily.  
            “It’s alright, James, I should go feed Bayard anyways.” Lily said slipping on her sweater over her tank top.  
            “Lils, just wait…” James groaned and got up to follow her. He went out to the hall and stopped her from going any further. “That didn’t ruin anything did it?” He asked.  
            “Of course not.” Lily laughed softly. “James, I’m a reasonable person, nothing ever needs to be perfect. You’re too much of a romantic.” She turned to unlock her door.  
            “It’s a good tactic though, girls usually seem to like being swept off their feet.” James replied with a shrug. “You don’t?”  
            “I didn’t say that but…this relationship is sort of new. I’d rather just spend quality time together than have these lavish dates.” Lily said as she opened the door. Bayard padded into the hallway and purred when he saw her. The orange cat wove in between her legs happily.  
            “Well that’s a relief.” James smiled. “You never seemed like the type to want all that.”  
            “And that’s a good thing?” Lily asked curiously. She raised an eyebrow at him.  
            “Well, it’s not the worst thing. I’m not rolling in cash you know. If takeaway and a movie suits your needs then babe I’m your guy.” James winked at her.  
            “Your charm is rich enough, and I’d prefer not to be called babe.” Lily informed him. “Nice try though.” She kissed him softly and pulled back to shut the door in his face.  
            James grinned and ran a hand through his messy hair. “I’ll think of something better.” He promised. “You asked for it, Evans.”  
              
            James went back to his apartment where Sirius and Remus were still waiting.  
            “Remus told me to apologize but I’m not going to.” Sirius said to his friend when he walked back in. He crossed his arms over his chest childishly.  
            “Sirius, it’s alright, mate.” James was too happy to care about the interruption. “Oh boy, I think I’m in love.” He flopped onto the couch with a sigh.  
            “Well isn’t that great. You won’t be running around like a frat boy while I’m tied down and married.” Sirius rolled his eyes.  
            Remus gave him a look. “We’re happy for you, James.” He said. “We sort of can’t believe it though, didn’t she hate your guts just a week ago?” He asked.  
            “Hate is a strong word, my friend.” James smirked. “We merely had a complicated relationship that was bound to end up the way it has.” He shrugged. “We couldn’t help it.”  
            Sirius grinned. “He’s just his same stupid self. How many times have we heard this speech since school? ‘Oh I think I’m in love, she’s the one, we’re going to be together forever’.” Sirius mimicked a high-pitched voice. “I’ll betcha it lasts two weeks max.”  
            “I’m not kidding!” James grabbed a pillow to hit Sirius with. “She  _is_ the one.” He said firmly. “She’s everything in a girl that I’ve never experienced before.”  
            “That’s rich.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Reading good poetry lately?”  
            “Enough.” Remus snapped. “Well, it’s bound to work out then, right? I mean James went after the same girls for years and they never worked out. If you’re saying she’s different from them…then maybe she’s the type of person you need.” He shrugged. “She is very polite and more reformed than the two of you.” He added with a mutter.  
            James smiled at him. “Yeah, yeah you’re right Remus. I’m going to go ask her out for dinner this weekend.” He decided.  
            “Hey, not Friday night, that’s our stag night.” Sirius reminded him. “You’re the best man, you have to be there.”  
            James groaned. “Why do I  _have_ to be there?” He asked. “Remus isn’t going!”  
            “Because we didn’t agree on the venue and I still don’t.” Remus grumbled. “Going to a bar like that the night before your wedding?”  
            “Hush, you agreed I could go.” Sirius said. “And besides, why would you, of all people, not want to go to a stag party?” He asked.  
            “Because maybe Remus is right and spending quality time with the person you love is better than going out drinking.” James replied nonchalantly.  
            Sirius saw right through him though. He leaned over the couch and stared at his friend since primary school. “What in the world has that woman been putting in your head?” He demanded.  
            James waved him off. “Shove off, maybe she’s right too! Not everything’s about partying, Padfoot.”  
            Sirius put a hand over his heart and pretended like he’d been given the worst news of his life. He even wiped away a faux tear. “After all the parties we’ve been through you’re throwing in the towel now? Before my most important day?” He sniffed.  
            James sighed and looked over at Remus. “Oh just go with him, he’ll bug you until you don’t.” Remus told him.  
            James shook his head. “Fine but no funny business, we’re just going to drink.” He said firmly.  
            “Excellent!” Sirius celebrated. “We’ll give a salute to the end of our party days in one last epic night.”  
            Remus just rolled his eyes. “I don’t even know  _why_  I’m marrying you.” He muttered and pulled Sirius out of the apartment so they could finish more wedding plans. 


	16. Chapter 16

            “A stag night?” Lily looked a little unsure as she sorted through her laundry. “Do you think that’s the best idea?” She asked glancing up at her boyfriend who had just revealed his night plans.   
            “It’s just Sirius and I, won’t be anything too exciting.” James promised her from the dryer he was sitting on.  
            “Yeah and I’m supposed to believe that?” Lily raised an eyebrow. “I think I should know Sirius’s personality by now. I don't think his stag night would be exactly family friendly” She replied. “Look,” she sighed and stopped putting her laundry away, “I don’t mind if you go out and have fun, what kind of person would I be if I didn’t? I just want you to make sure you’re careful and being smart.”  
            “Careful, angel face, I’ll be more than careful, I’ll be the best boyfriend ever, totally honest.” James smirked.  
            “James Potter, I’m serious!” Lily threw a shirt at him with a look. “Don’t think I know what happens at stags, I'm not dumb.”  
            “Look, it’ll just be a few drinks at the pub maybe shoot pool then we’ll go home.” James threw the shirt into the washer. "I won't even gamble or get drunk." He promised.  
            “You promise?” Lily asked with a stern look. "I'm serious about this..."   
            James hopped from the dryer and crossed the small space to wrap his arms around her waist. “I promise on my life.” He whispered and kissed her.  
            Lily gave in a little bit but eventually pushed him away. “You’re not bribing me.” She murmured centimeters from his face. “That’s not happening, mate.”  
            “Mate?” James chuckled. “Well, it's not the worst you’ve called me.” He supposed out loud.  
            “Mm.” Lily kissed his cheek and slipped from his arms to finish putting her laundry in the washer. "I guess it's not."   
            “So I’m going to go tonight, and I’ll be on my best behavior.” James promised. "You don't mind being along tonight right? Maybe call Marlene?"   
            “Alright, fine, I'll be fine alone. But if you do something bad I’m not forgiving you and I'm not bailing you out.” Lily warned and closed the washer door, picking up the empty hamper.  
            “Fair enough.” He agreed.   
 

 

  
            James stumbled out of the cab laughing to himself. “Sirius, mate, Lily is going to be pissed at me! I told her I wouldn't get drunk. You're getting me in trouble.” He snickered thinking it was the funniest thing he'd ever thought of.   
            Sirius, who was still in the cab, started to crack up at him. “That’s your problem, mate, not mine! Good luck with her!” He slumped over the backseat and closed the cab door.  
        The car drove off and James tripped over his own two feet as he walked up the stairs. His sober mind would’ve told him to just go to bed in his own apartment to sleep off the beers. But of course his drunken mind said visiting Lily at three in the morning was a brilliant idea. He banged on her door without a care of the noise. “Lils!” He called loudly so she'd wake up.   
            Lily jolted when she heard James. Instantly, her mind went to the worst possibility that James had gotten hurt. She jumped out of bed and ran to the door, flinging it open. “What’s wrong, what happened?” She said hurriedly.  
            “Lily, darling, God I love to see your face.” James slurred and slipped into the apartment clumsily. He balanced himself with the doorframe.   
            Lily furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you drunk?” She asked. “I thought you said you weren’t going to do this!” She hissed at him.   
            “Pft, Lily, s'not a...a uh big deal.” James rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, not too drunk. And now that I'm home…” He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him.  
            “No, I’m not happy with you!” Lily tried to pull away but he held her close.   
            “C’mon, Lily.” James groaned and pressed sloppy kisses on her neck.  
            “You’re disgusting!” Lily pushed him away forcefully, smacking his chest to keep him away. “I told you I wouldn’t forgive you if you did this. Just leave!” She pointed at the door.  
            James gave her a dirty look. “Wow, I can’t believe you. Thought you loved me.” He snapped. “I should’ve gone home with that girl.” He muttered loud enough for her to hear and turned away.  
            Lily’s eyes widened and tears came to her eyes when she did hear. “What?” She whispered. He started to walk out the door not listening to her. “What?” She said louder. “James Potter, what did you just say? What girl?” She cried.   
            James looked over his shoulder. “Baby, don’t worry you weren't forgiving me anyways.” He spat mercilessly, the alcohol telling him he wasn't being that rude.   
            “You’re damn right I won’t!” Lily yelled and slammed the door on him. She felt like electricity was pulsing through her she was so upset. She reached over and threw a nearby picture frame onto the ground watching as the glass smashed in front of her. She screamed into her hands not caring which neighbor heard her. She fell to her knees in hysterical tears feeling like her heart was being ripped out and crushed in his hands. Her cynical side popped up and wagged its finger at her. _‘You shouldn’t have trusted this guy. You knew he was bad from the start but you didn't listen to me. You should’ve seen he would do this eventually, you should've known’._ But then Lily’s romantic side protested loudly. _‘But you love him! He was your prince, he loved you! Look at all the sweet things he did for you!’_ Her stomach turned and she felt like throwing up. Instead she curled up on her side on the floor still sobbing and clutching her stomach. 


	17. Chapter 17

            Marlene knocked on Lily’s door. If her post was on time she knew what was on Lily’s mind. “Lils, are you okay?”  
            Lily clutched the invitation in her hand as she threw the door open. “Why? Why does the world hate me, Marlene?” She growled.  
            It had been a month since Lily tossed James out and she wasn’t talking about him at all. “Look, they want to invite you because they see you as a friend too. I’m sure it’s not because they wanted to hurt you.” Marlene said. “Please go, I’ll have no one to go with if you don’t.” She begged sticking out her bottom lip.  
            “I don’t want to, he’s is going to be there.” Lily replied stubbornly. Of course she meant James, never referring to his name after they broke up. “I don’t want to see him, not after what happened.” She dropped the invitation on the coffee table. “What would I even say to him?”  
            “You wouldn’t have to talk to them. Remus said it was going to be a big wedding so maybe you wouldn’t even see him.” Marlene coaxed. “And if you do I’ll tell him you don’t want to talk. C’mon what’s not to love about dressing up, seeing friends, dancing, and free drinks?” She cried.  
            Lily rolled her eyes. “So fun, knowing your ex is nearby.” She grumbled in reply. “Marls, I really don’t feel like going.”  
            “Just say yes and if you don’t want to the day before I’ll say you’re feeling ill.” Marlene bargained. “Just come for a little bit at least? So I don’t walk in alone?”  
            Lily sighed. She knew she couldn’t say no to her best friend. She rubbed her eyes and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. “Fine.” She gave in. “Fine, but if something happens with him, I’m leaving.” She threatened.  
            Marlene squealed and hugged her tightly. “Thank you Lils! You won’t regret it.”  
            “I dunno about that.” Lily sighed.  
   
            A few weeks later and Lily was in a foul mood. After four pregnancy tests she had to come to terms that she was pregnant. Of course the first thought came to her mind that there was a possibility that it was James’s child. But then she remembered the drunken one nightstand she’d had after her breakup. Crossing her fingers she kept the pregnancy to herself. That is until Marlene found out; it wasn't a surprise though, Lily had a feeling she would before anyone else.  
            “I don’t want to go.” Lily shook her head, her arms crossed, and staring at the dress on the bed. She was talking to Marlene on the phone only hours before the wedding ceremony.  
            “Lily Evans, you promised!” Marlene snapped. “I said if you didn’t want to go the night before I would cover for you, not right before if starts!”  
            “Marls, I’m pregnant so that means I can’t get drunk. And what’s the point in that at a wedding reception? I don’t want to see him.” Lily pinched the bridge of her nose.  
            “C’mon, please, I’ll do anything for you. I’ll hold you a baby shower, I’ll be there in the birthing room with you, I’ll buy you anything your baby wants, and I’ll literally get down on my knees and beg.” Marlene pled desperately. “You want to go on vacation, we’ll go on vacation! Somewhere warm! Want to go to Disneyland? We’ll go there even with a baby!”  
            “It sounds like you’re asking to be my girlfriend.” Lily rolled her eyes but sighed. “Fine, I’ll go and you only have to buy me a bottle of wine for after the baby’s born.” She said.  
            “Yay! I’ll get you champagne too, now get ready, I want to see you there on time.” Marlene said and hung up.  
            Lily put down her phone and picked up the dress. She chose a dark blue dress to try to make her look a little slimmer and hide the fact that she was a few months along. “You can do this, Lily.” She whispered. “He’s just an idiot who doesn’t deserve any of your time.” Even though it was something she’d been telling herself for weeks, her heart still ached.  
   
            At the reception, Lily looked for her name and fortunately she was next to Marlene. They sat down and for a second Lily felt carefree and relaxed.  
            “Oh the way Sirius and Remus look at each other.” Marlene swooned. “I need that in my life.”  
            “Fat chance.” Lily teased. “We’ll be single for life, my friend.”      
            “Maybe in thirty years if we’re single we should just get married and live out in the countryside, knitting and complaining about the weather.” Marlene giggled.  
            “Oh that sounds lovely.” Lily joined in laughing but then looked to her right and saw the nametag next to her. Her face went pale. “Marls…Marlene, we have to move.” She shook her friend’s shoulder and pointed.  
            Marlene saw and looked surprised. “Maybe it’s a mistake….” She whispered. But before they could move, Lily spotted James with a woman on his arm.  
            “Shit.” Lily cursed and ducked her head. “What do I do?” She hissed to her friend.  
            “I’ll take care of it.” Marlene stood up and swapped spots with her. “Let me do the talking. James, darling, I think you’re sitting with us!” She called and waved.  
            James heard his name and groaned. He knew the seating chart wasn’t a mistake. Remus and Sirius were constantly on his case about apologizing to Lily. He refused though and told them enough was enough. “Right, let’s get this over with.” He walked over. “Hello, Marlene.”  
            “You alright?” Marlene faked a flashy smile. “Who’s your friend?”  
            James sat down with the pretty blonde. “This is Michaela.” He grumbled. “I’m fine, thank you.”  
            Lily felt like hiding under the table and disappearing. It was possibly the worst situation she felt she could be in and her stomach was in knots. She only saw the night going down from that point.  


	18. Chapter 18

            For the most part, Lily was able to avoid any contact with James. That is until Marlene went to dance with the newly weds and Michaela went to get another drink from the open bar. James sighed and took a leap of faith. He wasn't sure how it would end but he had things he needed to say. He moved into Marlene’s chair to sit next to Lily. They were the only ones left at the table, most of the party had moved to the dance floor at that time of the night.  
            “You didn’t tell me you were pregnant.”  
            Lily looked up in alarm. “How did you know?” She demanded thinking she’d kept her handbag in front of her stomach whenever she stood up. She didn't want anyone, especially James, to know.   
            “I know you pretty well, Lils, I think I should be able to tell.” James replied with a sigh. "I'm not blind."   
            “Don’t call me that.” She replied coldly. She didn’t want to hear his pet names anymore it hurt her too much.  
            “Why didn’t you tell me?” James asked again. "Don't you think I deserved to know?"   
            “James, we haven’t talked in months, what do you want me to do? Send you a text saying I'm knocked up?” Lily rolled her eyes and stared harshly at the table decoration in front of her. The blue flowers were starting to wilt a bit after the long afternoon.   
            “You could’ve told me while we were here at least.” James hissed. “What if I hadn’t noticed and didn't ask? Were you going to just leave without telling me?” He asked.  
            "Yes, in fact that's how I was hoping my night would've gone." Lily snapped back at him not appreciating his accusatory tone.   
            Just then, Michaela stepped in and sat down. “James darling, come dance with me.” She said and tugged at his dress shirt needing his attention.   
            “Not now, Mick, I’m talking to Lily right now, can't you see?” James brushed her off curtly, not even looking over at her.   
            “C’mon, James, I’m bored just sitting here.” She drawled desperately.   
            “Then go dance with someone else, I’m busy.” James replied not in the mood to argue with her. He could only think about Lily.  
            “Why is she so important, then?” Michaela started to have a fit. “I’m your date, you should be paying attention to me!”  
            “Because Lily’s pregnant and we're talking about it, now leave us alone!” James snapped out of the blue.   
            Michaela made a face at the red haired woman who was stealing her date. “What a whore.” She said loud enough for James to hear at least.  
            James turned and looked at his date square in the face. “Leave.” He said. “I don’t want to see or hear from you ever again. Go somewhere else, I don't care where just far away.” And with that he turned back around. Michaela’s mouth fell open but instead of saying anything else she left with a huff.  
            “James, that’s kind of you to stand up for me, but it’s not necessary.” Lily said quietly as the other woman left. She felt a swell of pride though as he put the rude girl in her place.   
            “It doesn’t matter.” James said acting like it hadn’t even happened. “Lils…the baby has to be mine right? I mean we were together recently I can't imagine…” He hoped that she was as broken up about it as he was. He hadn't done more than meet a girl for dinner or coffee. But of course it never felt right and he ended the communication instantly. Maybe...just maybe she'd felt the same way.   
            Lily shook her head. She tried to come up with an easier way to tell him but there was no possible way to beat around the bush. “He’s not yours.” She said trying not to sound embarrassed. But of course admitting that she’d had a one-night stand as a rebound wasn’t exactly easy to say. “And the other guy doesn’t want anything to do with the baby so I don’t need anyone. I’ll be alright by myself, I can do it alone.” She swallowed as she rambled on. That was a flat lie. She didn’t know if she’d be all right. She could only say that she would be because the baby wasn’t born yet.  
            James sat back and had to sigh deeply to keep from showing too much of his disappointment. “Great…” He rubbed his eyes and shook his head. There was so much more he had to tell her even if the baby wasn't his. “Lily, I still love you.” He looked over at her with nothing but seriousness in his voice. “And I know that you probably hate me but I can’t get over you no matter how hard I try. You were and still are the only woman in the world I truly loved, the only one I want to spend my every waking moment with. I know I messed up and I’m sorry, but I didn’t even touch that girl who was asking to go home with me. I told her no because I knew I had you waiting for me at home.” James looked down not wanting to cry in front of her. “Lily…please take me back, I love you so much it hurts. I can't deal with it anymore.”  
            Lily couldn’t even look at him. Though it was a relief he hadn’t actually cheated on her, she was still heartbroken by the way he treated her. Drunk or not he was brutal with his words. “I love you too, I want to love you back wholly but…James how in the world could I trust you after what you did?” She asked the tough question.   
            “You can I…”  
            “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Lily interrupted him and stood up. “I’m going home, I’m tired.” She mumbled and without another look walked away from him.   
            James could only watch as she disappeared into the crowd. He knew there was no use in following her anymore. There was a good chance that he'd lost her forever in that moment. He could only hope for a miracle that he would ever even see her again. 


	19. Chapter 19

            Lily was screaming out for no one to listen. She gripped the edge of the hospital bed and tried to block out the sounds of the doctor telling her to push. She sobbed as she realized she didn’t want to be in that situation. She didn’t want to be in labor and she didn’t want to have a baby. How could she bring a little boy into the world without a father to help raise him properly? She felt so guilty and the baby wasn’t even born yet.

            A nurse touched her arm and told Lily that her baby was almost here and she just needed to push one more time.

            Lily’s own cries were drowned out by the sound of a baby wailing. Her body went limp and her head fell back into the pillows. The nurse next to her gently wiped her forehead and smiled. Lily wasn’t smiling though, she was so anxious. Her thoughts raced mercilessly through her head. _You won’t make a good mother. Your son will resent you for the rest of your life. Couldn’t you have just kept your legs closed?_ But all the thoughts came screeching to a halt when a small, warm bundle was placed in her arms. Lily opened her eyes and saw the face of son she’d carried. Tears continued to run down her cheeks but they changed emotions.

            The newborn hiccupped and opened his eyes. He yawned and squirmed a little in the blue swaddle.

            “Hello…” Lily whispered, her voice thick with tears. “You’re so perfect…my little Harry” She gently touched his tiny cheek with her thumb. She knew he was perfect but the more she looked at him the more he was starting to look like a very familiar face. “Oh no…” She shut her eyes and panic set in.

 

            James never got over Lily when they first broke up but after seeing her pregnant at the wedding, he slipped further into sadness. He wasn’t angry at her for sleeping with another man; they were broken up so she had every right. He was extremely jealous of that man though who got to spend time with her and now was the father of her child. James felt like a total screw up and apologizing wouldn’t get him anywhere so he felt like he was backed up in a corner.

            But his luck changed when his phone started to ring. James groaned, wanting to be left alone, but sat up from the couch and grabbed his phone. He was surprised to see it was Lily calling. He didn’t hesitate to answer. “Hi Lil-Lily.” He corrected himself before he used her nickname.

            “Hi James.” Lily said quietly. “I uh…this is quite awkward but I had my baby yesterday.” She had no idea how to tell him in a less blunt way.

            James froze and felt the green-eyed monster creep up on him again. “Oh…wow. Uh…congratulations.” He said as sincerely as he could be.

            “Thank you…you might need to be congratulated too.” Lily had her phone tucked in between her shoulder and ear because she was rocking Harry gently in her arms.

            James furrowed his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?” He asked not knowing what in the world she could’ve meant.

            “He looks like you.” Lily’s voice barely came out in a whisper.

            “Who? The baby?” James choked. “Are you serious, Lily?” He demanded.

            Lily felt like crying she had been so emotional. “I’m sorry, I was so sure it was him, not you. If I had known I would’ve told you!” She insisted.

            James ran a hand over his face. “Are you…I can’t believe this.” He wanted to feel elated that he could be a father but at the same time he didn’t want to be let down again.

           “I need to get a test for the birth certificate. Will you please come to the hospital?” She asked. She was so ashamed and felt horrible. “It would mean a lot to me.”    

            James went quiet for a second. He didn’t want to be disappointed if he found out the boy wasn’t his again. But he couldn’t go through life without knowing if he was or wasn’t the father. “Okay, but I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for the baby.” He replied.

            Lily swallowed and nodded. “I understand.” She said weakly. “Whatever the reason just please…”

            “I will, I’ll meet you there.” James promised. “But before I leave will you send me a picture of him?” He asked. He only asked because he was selfishly trying to get his hopes up.

            Lily nodded. “Alright.” She hung up so she could send him a picture of her son. Her finger shook as she pressed the send button.

            James waited for the text to show up. When it did his stomach knotted up. In the brief moment he was completely unaware of how things could go. He could see a spitting image of himself and get excited about possibly having a son…or he could see a baby who looked nothing like him and have his heartbreak again. His emotional well being was taking a beating and it was all Lily Evans’s fault. But god dammit he loved her still. He took a deep breath and opened the text. His heart soared. “That’s my son.” He whispered.


	20. Chapter 20

            They were limp lilies but it was the best the gift shop could offer. James had stopped there before he went in to see Lily and his son. He figured it would give him some time to breathe and make sure he went with an offering of peace. He browsed through the baby section and looked over the foreign objects. James had never pictured himself as a father before. He figured he probably would be one someday but he had no idea that it was that very day.

            “Excuse me?” James signaled for the younger woman who was working the register.

            “Yes?”

            “What would be best to get a baby?” James asked. “I’m sorta new at it all I guess.” He shrugged sheepishly.

            “I can help you no problem.” The woman came around the counter to look at the toys and stuffed animals. “How old is he…or she?” She asked.

            “He’s…well he was just born a few hours ago actually.” James rubbed the back of his neck and fixed his eyes on a set of rubber bath toys.

            “Oh congratulations. Well we recommend soft things for newborns. It’s not stuff they can play with yet but it’ll keep them entertained if you hold it out in front of them.”

            James nodded slowly and picked out a stuffed bear with a blue ribbon around its neck. “Not too cliché is it?” He asked holding it up.

            “I don’t think so. Everyone has a little stuffed animal they grew up with right?” She smiled. “Do you want anything else?”

            “Do you have lilies?” James asked on a whim and followed her to the humming refrigerator that held bouquets of flowers.

            She gave him a strange look. “Lilies are normally used for funerals and condolences.” She informed him and hesitated taking them out of the ‘fridge.

            “Well, lilies have a different meaning to me.” James said. “I’ll take them.”

 

            James had to take a few deep breaths before knocking on the edge of the doorframe. Lily looked up and smiled tiredly when she saw it was James with presents in his hands. “You came…” She said quietly.

            “Well, I had to. The little monkey looks just like me doesn’t he?” James attempted to make the atmosphere less awkward than it already was. He cleared his throat and walked in. “These are for you.” He held out the flowers.

            “Oh…they’re beautiful.” Lily smiled and blushed a bit at his attention to detail. She took them from him and set them down on the side table next to the hospital cot. “Thank you…and I assume that’s for my Harry.” She nodded to the teddy bear.

            James fumbled with the stuffed animal. “Right…I figured it was…an apology for not being there for him in his first moments.” He shrugged.

            “It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I should’ve realized…” Lily wiped at her eyes. The aftermath of the birth was highly exhausting and emotional for her. Even Harry’s crying made her cry she was so sensitive.

            “Sh, it’s alright.” James sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped an arm around her small body. She seemed drained of all life since he’d held her last…and that seemed like ages ago. “S’not your fault. We both made mistakes. All that matters is that we figure out the truth.”       

            “The nurse said she’d be here to take a cheek swab from you. They already took Harry’s.” Lily sniffled and used the hem of the bathrobe she was in to wipe her cheeks and eyes.

            “Can I see him before they come?” James asked timidly.

            “Of course, he’s in his cot over by the window. He seems happiest in the sun. It’s so horrible here, I hate the hospital, and I don’t blame him for wanting to see the sun.”

            James smiled and stood up. He looked over and saw the plastic bassinet. He could see a small bundle in it but couldn’t make out the body form. He felt like every step took hours and he was too loud. Eventually he made it over and peered down.

            Harry was swaddled up in a blue blanket. His green eyes were closed and a content look was on his face. James didn’t want to disturb him.

            Lily stood up and walked over to stand next to James. She wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned into his side. “The moment I saw him I knew. There was no way this could be another man’s son. He’s James Potter’s son, only his.”

            James smiled proudly and couldn’t take his eyes off the newborn. “He’s perfect, Lils.” He whispered. “He’s absolutely perfect.”


	21. Chapter 21

Harry started wailing at the top of his lungs at around three in the morning.  
            James groaned and fumbled for his phone to use as a flashlight. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes.   
            Lily turned over, startled by Harry's crying even though it wasn't anything new. Harry hadn't been able to sleep through the night. “James?” She asked looking for him in the darkness.  
            “I’ve got him don’t worry. Go back to sleep.” James said and got out of Lily's bed.  
   
            Harry was a week old and was home at Lily’s apartment. James was staying with her to be a father to him like he thought he should have been. But they both knew they had to work things out desperately. They needed a bigger place to live and they needed to figure out what their relationship was anymore. The first night Harry came home, Lily burst into tears out of nowhere. It took hours for James to calm her down.  
            “I love you but what happened to us?” She sobbed.  
            James didn’t know how to answer the tough question. He just kept saying how much he loved her and he knew they would work out. It was a flimsy promise but it was the only thing he could think of to calm her down.  
           Harry seemed to be the glue between the fragile relationship and was keeping them together without any fighting. It was enough for a short time but they were unsure of how to proceed when they realized they needed to get serious. They just focused on Harry one hundred percent until they felt they could talk about their love. They baby was a good distraction, they both loved him more than anything and it showed.   
               
            “Hey there mate.” James said softly and picked Harry up out of his cot. “What’s got you all riled up? Bad nightmares? It's okay, dad's here.” He soothed and tried to get the newborn to settle down as best as he could. He paced the room slowly and rocked his child gently.  
            Harry started to settle a little bit when he felt the comfort of someone familiar. He hiccuped and rested his small cheek against James’s shoulder listening to his soothing heartbeat. He closed his green eyes and quieted down.  
            “Yeah, dad’s gotcha. You’re alright.” James whispered and felt a sense of pride knowing he could calm down his son perfectly. He was enjoying being a father. He didn't mind staying up late, changing diapers, or dealing with the crying. He was determined to be the best father the world had seen, Harry deserved that much from him. “You’re dad’s best mate right? Forever and ever.” He murmured. “I’m gonna take care of you and your mum for the rest of my life, no matter what.” He promised. “You don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll keep you safe…I’ll give you a good life.”  
            Harry listened to his father’s voice and was gently lulled to sleep. His soft breathing slowed and returned to normal.   
             Lily shuffled into the nursery to see James holding Harry closely. She listened to his vows to his son. She felt her heart swell from bittersweet sadness. She wanted to believe everything he said but they had broken up before hadn’t they? They didn't have a child together then though. But, maybe Harry meant they would have a better reason to be together and make things work. Lily didn’t want to put the entire relationship’s fate on her newborn; she didn’t think that would be fair to such a precious and innocent little boy.  
            She rested against the doorjamb and continued to watch James. There was the same love that she always felt when she saw him. It grew when she had Harry but it was love all the same. She sighed quietly and went back to the bedroom to let James take care of Harry. She needed to think.


	22. Chapter 22

            “Look at ‘im.” Sirius whispered and reached out to tap Harry’s nose with his index finger.

            “Stop it, he doesn’t like that.” Remus scolded.

            “How do you know?”

            James looked over at his friends as they stared at his son. “It’s like you two have never seen a baby before.” He joked.

            “Well…none of our friends have a kid like you, mate.” Remus pointed out.

            “Look how tiny his fingers are!” Sirius gently took Harry’s hand in between his fingers. “I didn’t think there could be fingernails that small.”

            Lily smiled. “He’s pretty average size for three weeks.” She said. “That’s what the doctor said.”

            “He got a clean bill of health at his check-up, didn’t ya Harry?” James cooed.

            “Jesus, this little ankle biter, made you go soft, Prongs.” Sirius shook his head.

            “I think it’s sweet.” Remus sat down in front of the bassinette where Harry was laying in. “Maybe one day we’ll adopt one of our own.” He shrugged.

            Sirius’s face went pale and James laughed. ”You would let Sirius even watch a child?” He asked. Lily hushed him and shook her head.

            “I think he would be a great father.” Remus said lovingly.

            Sirius cleared his throat. “I dunno…” He looked at Harry. “Could I hold him?” He asked out of the blue.

            “Of course.” Lily walked over to the cot and picked up her son. She gently put him in Sirius’s arms.

            He held the baby gently and watched as Harry yawned. “Too bad he’s got your hair, mate. You’ll never be able to comb it.”

            Lily smiled. “That’s what I said.” She giggled.

            James’s cheeks went red and shrugged. “Hair gel will get it to stay down.” He said. “Just lots of hair gel.”

            Remus rested on his elbow and gazed at Sirius holding Harry. He couldn’t help but think about how perfect it looked. Sirius may not have believed it, but Remus knew he’d be a good father. His heart felt warm and he wanted to go look up the adoption process immediately. He wanted to share the love he felt for Sirius with a child who deserved it. “Let’s do it, Padfoot.” He said quietly.

            “Do what?” Sirius looked up from Harry.

            “Let’s adopt. You’d be the perfect father, we’d be a family.” Remus said.

            Lily smiled broadly and looked over at James. That’s when she saw James was gazing at her lovingly. She felt tears in her eyes. She wanted a family too. She may have had James and Harry but they weren’t a family until everything was smoothed out. She knew they had to talk.

            “Hey…maybe you and Sirius could watch the baby for a little bit?” Lily suggested. “James and I have to…run some errands.” She said. James looked over at her in confusion but didn’t ask any questions.

            Remus smiled shyly. “Yeah we could do that.” He nodded. “You guys take your time, okay?”

 

            “Talk to me.” James said gently. They hadn’t made it far and were sitting in Lily’s car on the street in front of the apartment building. “And be truthful with me, I can handle it.” He smiled weakly.

            Lily sighed and looked down at her hands. “I don’t know what to say.” She admitted quietly.

            James rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “Yeah I know what you mean.” He replied.

            “I want to stay together for Harry’s sake but what’s to say we don’t get in another argument?” Lily asked.

            “Couple’s have arguments, that’s normal. We just…well I need to apologize.” James said gently. “I am…I am really sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did.”     

            “It was a long time ago. I’m not really mad anymore.” Lily looked over at him. “I think I got over it a while ago. I just didn’t know what to say to you. I want to make up…we owe that to each other and to our son.”

            “Our son.” James smiled. “Lils, I’ve never been happier. He’s just so perfect…I didn’t think I’d be a father. But I think I like the role.”

            Lily smiled and nodded. “You’re perfect around him. I’m happy you’re his dad, I couldn’t have asked for anyone better.”

            “So…I guess that means we really do work well as a team.” James smirked and shrugged.

            “I guess so.” Lily laughed softly. “I’ve missed you.” She whispered.

            James leaned over to brush a few locks of her red hair away from her eyes. He touched her cheek and kissed her forehead. “I’ve missed you too. Let’s get a house, set up a life for our family.”

            Lily closed her eyes and couldn’t help but picture it, living a perfect life with the man she loved and her perfect son. “That’s all I want now.” She murmured. “Thank you.”


	23. Chapter 23

            Harry turned a month old when Lily and James moved into the suburbs, right outside London. It was a small home but perfect for the new family. There was a little garden in the back and a porch that seemed to get the best sunlight in the morning. When they were looking for houses, Lily fell instantly in love with it. She imagined herself sitting on the porch next to James, drinking coffee, and watching Harry play in the garden. It made her heart swell up in happiness and she knew they had found the perfect place to start their new life as a family.  
            All of their furniture was moved in and it was starting to look like their home after a lot of work. Lily was making the bed in hers and James' room and humming softly to herself.  
            “Uh Lils?” James poked his head into the room with a confused look. He had just come back from the store to get them lunch. “Where did our son disappear to?”  
            “Oh did he get up and walk out?” Lily teased. “I’m kidding, Sirius and Remus came by and took him for a walk around the block." She answered.  
            “Oh.” James nodded. “That’s good, gives us a break.” He walked into the room and helped her fix the comforter on the bed. “So what do you think so far? Is it everything you dreamed of?”  
            Lily smiled and threw him a pillow for him to place on the bed. “It’s perfect.” She said. “It’s just…I can imagine Harry growing up here. We can walk him to school, take him to the park…you know, just be a family. Everything's coming together like we wanted.”  
            “And there’s an extra bedroom.” James reminded her with a shy look.  
            “Oh so Remus and Sirius can move in?” Lily giggled. "They both said they would much rather stay in the city."   
            James chuckled and shook his head. “No, I was thinking, once Harry was old enough…”  
            Lily looked at him in surprise. “You mean…have another kid?” She asked in disbelief. “James, we’ve been through enough drama, I’m not having another child right away.”  
            “I know, not right away.” James clarified and flopped onto the bed, resting on his side, propped up on his elbow. “But wouldn’t you like to have another? I mean we make damn cute kids and he’s not too tough to handle.”  
            “Just wait till he reaches his terrible twos.” Lily said and crawled onto the bed next to him. “You’ll be wishing I never called you at the hospital.”  
            James shook his head. “Absolutely not. I’d never wish that.” He pulled her into his arms. “Lily, there are a lot of things in this world that I regret, but being with you and having our son is not one of them. I don’t want you to ever think that.”  
            Lily bit her lip and cuddled close into his chest. “Okay.” She said quietly. “I believe you…I don’t regret it either. It may have been messy and not easy to deal with but we figured it out. I think he could figure out having two children if we wanted.” She said gently and smiled.  
            “Hell yeah we could. Maybe we’ll have a girl, and she’ll have your hair instead of mine. Then you won’t have to worry about it sticking up.”  
            Lily giggled. “I’d never be so lucky.”  
            “Maybe she’ll have your eyes like Harry does.” James said softly. “Those beautiful, green eyes.”  
            “And she’ll have her father’s charming smile.” Lily started to sink into the fantasy.  
            “We’ll take her and Harry to the park. Harry could be walking by then…talking too. He would love a sister, don’t you think?” James asked.  
            “Of course he would.” Lily nodded. “They would play together and Harry would protect her as an older brother.”  
            “No doubt.”  
            The couple started to drift off into the dream of a perfect life in the suburbs with two kids. It may have seemed a little dated and cliché but in the moment it was quiet and calm, something they desperately needed.  


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of violence and a death.

            It was the last thing anyone was expecting to happen that Halloween night. Sirius, in the middle of the night, startled Remus awake.  
            “What? What Sirius?” He sat up and blinked a few times to see if he was dreaming or not.  
            “It’s Lily…James…maybe Harry. I don’t know. Rem, something happened, a police officer just called me.” Sirius was scrambling to get a sweatshirt on and a pair of trainers.  
            “What are you…are they hurt? Was there an accident?” Remus jumped out of bed.  
            “I don’t know but we need to get down there now!” Sirius said in an alarmed voice. “I’ll get a cab, hurry up.”  
   
            When the cab pulled up to the Potters’ house, cop cars had made a perimeter around the area. Red and blue flashing lights made Remus and Sirius panic even more.  
            “Can’t go past here, mate, it's a crime scene.” An officer stopped Sirius from going beyond the police tape.  
            “My friends live here, their kid is in there, are they okay?” Sirius demanded. Then a shrill scream interrupted the tense air.  
            “No, bring him back!”  
            Remus looked at Sirius and they pushed past the officers. “Lily?” Remus called and finally found her through the thicket of responders.  
            Lily was clinging to an EMT’s arm, her knees knocking in and her face contorted into pure pain. Her pajamas were splattered with blood and her shirt was torn a bit.  
            Remus noticed another person walk by with a bundle in his arms. He felt his heart drop when he realized it was little Harry. “Where’s James?” He felt like he was going to throw up. His godson was dead and now he didn’t know where his best friend was. “Where is James!?” He suddenly yelled.  
            Lily was in no state to answer, she kept wailing and screaming for her son to come back. Instead, a nearby officer decided to let them know. “They took him to hospital. He’s in critical condition…they tried saving the baby but…” The young man looked pale.  
            “What happened? Who did this?” Sirius demanded and wrapped an arm around his husband to comfort him.  
            “We don’t know for sure. It was a shooting…we don’t know any motives. It’s under investigation.”  
            Remus stumbled away from Sirius and went to envelope Lily in his arms. She couldn’t withstand the gravity of the situation and fell to the pavement with him. They held each other tightly and Remus tried his best to cope with the fact that it wasn’t a nightmare.  
   
             
            “We’re not sure he’s going to make it through the night. He was shot three times in very fatal places, it's a wonder he didn't die at the scene. We’re doing our best but it’s up to how his body heals now.” The doctor said quietly.  
            Sirius was the only one who could stand to listen to the news. Remus was in the waiting room practicing his deep breaths and Lily was spending her last moments with her son. “But there’s a chance?”  
            “There’s always a chance. The odds don’t look good but there’s always a chance.” The doctor nodded.  
            “Thanks…” Sirius said in a dull voice. He was tired, emotional drained, and the future looked grim. It was bad enough Harry was gone; Sirius knew Lily couldn’t handle it if James didn’t make it too. But then that meant James was going to wake up and someone was going to have to tell him his beloved son was gone.  
            Sirius sank to the floor and leaned up against the hallway wall. He closed his eyes and remembered how simple things were when they were in university. Just three friends, spending time together, pranking each other, Sirius flirting with Remus, and James flirting with every girl that walked by. Now Sirius wasn’t sure which way was up anymore, he just wanted to go back to when he didn’t have to worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this, I kind of wanted to reverse the Potter story in the original books.


	25. Chapter 25

            Remus was sitting by his friend’s hospital bed. His husband was sleeping, resting his head on his shoulder. Lily was sleeping by James’ side in the bed. It was day three of the coma James was in. The doctor said the swelling in his brain was going down but it would be a while until he woke up. The nurse said it was okay for Lily to rest with him as long as she was careful of the IV tubes. She barely left his side after having to leave Harry as he was brought into the coroner's office for an autopsy.  
            Remus knew how exhausted she was. She had gone through the death of her baby, and now she wasn’t sure if her husband would ever recover. Lily’s parents took over the arrangements for Harry’s funeral. But she told them to wait until James woke up. It also had to be held off as evidence was taken for the case against the mysterious shooter.   
            Earlier that day, Lily broke down in Sirius’s arms. She said she didn’t know how she would tell James. She told Remus that James was shot shortly after Harry was. He wouldn’t know that Harry had passed away.  
            “He tried to save him, he did, Sirius.” Lily sobbed. She was running out of tears, her voice was lost after hours and hours of asking why her son was taken from her. “He tried so hard…I should’ve been shot and killed. I should’ve been killed, not him, not James. I would give my life for him. I'd give everything to bring him back.” It took nearly two hours to calm her down again. It broke Remus and Sirius' hearts.   
            Now she was asleep and Remus was given the quiet and peace to listen to his tormented thoughts. He didn't know which was worse, listening to his friend cry about her dead child, or having to recall the memory of finding the Potter family broken apart. He picked up his phone for a distraction and saw the background picture. It was of Sirius and him holding their godson. Harry had a big smile on his face and looked like a typical baby. Now he was gone. Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He pocketed his phone, not wanting to see any more painful reminders of what they lost. It just made everything so much more painful.  
            Sirius stirred next to his husband and opened his eyes. “Hey.” He whispered quietly.  
            “Hi.” Remus replied gently. He reached over to fix his hair and smiled weakly. “Sleep well?” He asked hoping that maybe he'd gotten a least a little rest.  
            “No.” Sirius shook his head. “Maybe we should go home for a bit. We’ll come back after you get a night’s worth of sleep.” He suggested. “You look exhausted, you won’t be able to fall asleep here, I know that for a fact.”  
            Remus nodded slightly. “Yeah maybe that would be good.” He agreed.  
            “Did Mr. and Mrs. Evans come by while I was asleep?”  
            “No, Lily called them about something. I think it was about flowers for the funeral. The Potters were here for a little bit though.” Remus said. “Mrs. Potter was having a real hard time so they had to leave.”  
            “I don’t blame her.” Sirius sighed and stood up to stretch. “I want to help more but…I don’t know what to do.”  
            “I know, but you’re doing as much as you can. The…the funeral is being cared for by the Evans.” Remus swallowed and took another deep breath to stay calm. “James will recover and we need to be there by his side as he goes through rehabilitation. We’ll be there for Lily to support her as much as we can. But look…we need to take care of ourselves too.” He added.  
            Sirius nodded and leaned over to kiss his forehead. “I love you, know that?” He asked quietly.  
            Remus nodded and reached for both his hands. “I love you too.” He said quietly. "We're all going to get through this. Harry...he'll be remembered, but we need to still live."   
             "We'll try our absolute best." 


	26. Chapter 26

  
            James woke up a week later from his coma once the swelling in his brain went down. He was disoriented and didn’t remember anything from the night of the shooting.   
           A nurse called Lily and she rushed to the hospital right after hanging up the phone. She’d been staying with her parents when she wasn’t staying by James’ side. The investigators finished processing the scene in the house a few days before. The house had been cleared but Lily hadn't been able to even go down the road their house was on. She couldn’t go and see Harry’s nursery. She was sure that if she did, she wouldn’t be able to cope ever again.     
            Lily went into the hospital room, the one she’d spent so much time in after a week. When she saw his eyes were open, she immediately started to cry. She’d spent so much time crying, she wondered if she would ever be able to live a day without breaking down. The future seemed so bleak to her.   
            “Lils…” James felt like the fog around him was slowly starting to fade when she saw her face. Things always made more sense when she was around. He smiled slightly. "Hey..."   
            “James…” Lily went to hug him. “You’re okay…oh thank God, you’re okay. I've been waiting so long for you to wake up...” She sobbed.  
            “I feel numb…but alive at least.” James sighed. The nurses had told him he’d been shot but they didn’t say anything about Harry’s fate. Some didn't even know themselves. He didn’t remember anything happening so he had no reason to believe his son was anything but okay. “Are you okay? What about Harry? How is he doing?” He asked.  
            Lily buried her face in his shoulder, just wishing she could tell him that Harry was fine. She wished she could tell him that Harry was home with her parents, he was happy, laughing, and just perfectly fine. She wished she could lie but knew she really couldn't. He deserved to know the truth eventually.  
            “Lily…” Harry wasn’t sure why she wasn’t answering him. There was no possibility that he was dead in his mind. It didn't even cross his mind. “Where is Harry, Lily?”  
            She couldn’t answer him, she was so distraught and the words wouldn’t come out not matter how hard she tried to force them out. She just kept her face hidden in his shoulder and tried to pretend everything was okay...their son was okay.   
            “Lily, where is my son?” James started to panic the longer it took her to answer.   
            She started to sob out loud, not able to control herself anymore. “You tried to save him. We tried…they tried.” She hiccuped. "You tried everything..."   
            “Where is my son?!” James demanded shakily. He knew at that point that something was seriously wrong. "Where...where is he?"  
            “He’s gone.” Lily cried. “He’s gone…”  
            “No…no…” James struggled away from her. “Let me see him!” He tore at the IVs and tubes in his arms. “Let me see him!” He roared.  
            “James, please.” Lily begged and tried to push him back down into the bed. She didn’t want him to rip something out and cause more harm to himself. “Please relax.” She practically had to pin him down with all her body weight to keep him from thrashing about.  
            Exhausted and weak, James gave in. His body went limp and he started to cry. He didn’t know the last time he’d cried. “Let me see him…Lily please…my son…Harry...”  
            Lily couldn’t do anything but try to hold him as close as she possibly could. She wanted to take the pain away from him just as much as he wanted to do the same for her. But neither could do much. “I want him back too. I want him back so badly…I want to hold him again.” She cried. She felt so helpless she didn’t know how her heart could hurt so much. She didn't feel like she would ever heal. 


End file.
